Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Push and Pull of Compassion


Do you remember the pushmi-pullyu, the gazelle-unicorn or the two-headed llama in Dr Dolittle? I realized today I have a push/pull reaction to compassion these days. I went to an Arlington District Clergy meeting yesterday morning. I encountered colleagues there who were very caring, wanting to know how Jeff is doing, and how I am doing. After a far too brief word, all I wanted to do was sidle away from them. I sat on a row by myself when normally I would have sat with friends.
The push/pull is that I deeply appreciate the genuine caring and yet the intensity is sometimes too great for me. The push/pull is also that I need to let folks know about what’s going on and yet I want to withdraw.
I give thanks for friends and colleagues who care, who rejoice when I rejoice, who weep when I weep. I also give thanks for and ask for understanding for when I might seem brusque and unappreciative of compassion offered. I am not unappreciative. It’s just that at any particular moment I might need folks to just sit and let me sit. And I pray that I can offer that same gift to others when even a gentle hug, nudge or question might simply be too much.

Romans 12:15
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

One Thing


Last week in visiting Lillian who is recovering well from a stroke, she told me that her physical therapist, in releasing her from PT, told her to keep her mind on one thing at a time, and she should be able to accomplish each task. Then Lillian said with that hint of a dry smile she has that it’s hard to think about only one thing at a time.

I usually pride myself on my ability to multi-task. I get lots of things done that way. Lately, however, I been questioning this “ability.” How well do I really get things done? I have been much more mindful when I drive to focus on the task at hand. [See PR & news reports do make a difference.] And don’t I want someone to focus on me when with me rather than attending to other things—like talking on a cell phone?

Which makes me think of my need to focus on the one thing that is most needful—the love of Christ. With single-minded focus and obedience, he emptied himself and went to the cross—all for love, that we might be set free. So today, on this most Holy Thursday, whether at home, at work, or in worship (at 7:30 p.m.), the love of Christ is our focus. When we keep our mind on this one thing, then all things will be accomplished well.

Matthew 6:33
But strive first for the kingdom of God and God’s righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Grudge into gratitude


These days I would rather not let the frustrations bother me. I would rather be able to do each task with a true smile on my lips, and gratitude in my heart for being able to serve even in a small way, but I often find a grudge there instead.

I give thanks for companions along the way who are a witness to me in dealing with those pesky frustrations—some small, some quite large. Jen has been such an inspiration to me these last several years. She takes what she reads and hears and reflects on, and it becomes a part of her life.

This past week as she had to deal with one thing after another, so many that they became not just a molehill or a series of molehills, but nearly a mountain, in the midst of it all she sang “I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free…” Granted at moments that song may have been more like a prayer of desperation, but the singing of it was also a hymn of praise, and a declaration of trust in God.

And so, with that witness before me, I will seek to turn my frustrations into an opportunity to sing praise, and grudges into gratitude.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Buy Less?


How often do I make something more complicated by trying to parse the details? For years I have been trying to improve our family’s “green-ness.” Three years ago, we bought a Civic hybrid. I would love to have solar panels on our house, especially since it faces the south. We got rid of the grass in front of the house to reduce the necessity of mowing.

This morning, I glanced at an article in the Post titled “Go green without spending green,” an interview with Jeffrey Hollender, founder of Seventh Generation cleaning products. The single most important thing in going green, he says, is to buy less stuff. That elicits a hand slap to the forehead: DUH!

Thinking “green” when we need to buy new things, make replacements, etc., is important, but buying more to add to the already massive collections in our homes and waste sites is not helpful in the end.

That way of thinking also applies to other areas of my life. What actions can go a long way without requiring massive planning and adding in lots of additional responsibilities? During Lent, we often give up something as a discipline but end up adding other things to take its place. Maybe the kind of fast that is needed is really learning to do with less—less things, less activities, less scheduling, less rushing. Anyway, this is giving me something to think about during these days when what I need to learn is how to let go—let go of worry, fear, anxiety.