A Growl and a Kiss

Rey and I take a few walks each day. Some are short; others are longer. He is loving his new life. While he no longer has a yard to run in, he has lots of people, and dogs, to meet. He wants everyone to be his friend, and he will gladly give anyone who gets down close enough a kiss. The problem he has is that he is so eager to meet people that he talks to them, and strangers do not know whether he is growling or not. I try to keep him away from runners so he won’t startle them too much. I offer others a smile and say, “he just wants to be friends.”

I remember in high school when Bobby, a friend of my brother, asked if my mother was mad at him. He thought she looked angry. She wasn’t angry; she just wasn’t smiling all the time. When I was in my first year college suite, one suite mate asked if I was reading the obituaries because I looked so serious. No, I was reading the comics and enjoying them uproariously inside. One of our new neighbors does not smile much at all. We wondered if he was a grumpus, but one day Rey and I rode the elevator with him, and he petted Rey. This morning, he waved to us as he drove by during our walk.

This is a good reminder to me. Quick judgments about people can be unfair. Who have I been too quick to judge? What relationships have I missed?

Proverbs 17:9

One who forgives an affront fosters friendship,
but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend.

Habits

Some automatic functions develop as habits, many of which we are not even aware. Tapping our toes or swinging a leg while seated can serve to focus some of our kinetic energy and allow us to concentrate more deeply.  Humming or whistling might be a habit so engrained that we don’t know what people are talking about when they comment on it. To become conscious of these automatic habits, we often need to work our way backwards to even see them at work.

Last Thursday, my right big toe was bruised and gashed by the door at the steeple entrance. I was baffled by it. How did it happen that my foot was underneath the door in the first place? I had to unravel my automatic habit to understand what happened. Evidently as I enter the door in the morning wheeling my computer bag in, I turn slightly and hold the door open with my right foot. Normally, this would not be a problem, but the day before the weather stripping for the door had disintegrated to the point the door would not close. The door people removed it, intending to return at another time to put a new one in place. The next morning when I followed my automatic habit of catching the door with my right foot, there was nothing at the bottom to catch and the door swung back over my foot, injuring my toe, not horribly but a bit painfully. Now I think about my action every time I come through the door to avoid a repeat performance.

What difference does this make in a spiritual sense? A lot. Certain habits over time can deepen my spirit. Others make no sense over time. Every once in a while, I need to pause and unravel them so that I can see which ones deepen my spirit, which ones keep me shallow and which ones have no purpose at all.

Saying a blessing before eating could have evolved into a seemingly empty habit, but it can, with more intention, remind me of whose I am and my place in God’s creation.

What are some automatic actions or habits that deepen your spirit? Which ones keep it shallow?

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Simply Balanced

What would it be like no longer to play the hero or the heroine, no longer buying the definitions of success that our world hands us? What would it be long to live simply with a balance of work, of love, of play, of serving? Sometimes we are brought to that necessity by the limitations of our body, of our health.

Sometimes the definition of salvation simply needs to be liberation—being set free from the things of this world that would bind us, that would keep us from truly being able to “walk in beauty” as the Navajo people would say. One woman this week told me that she has been forced to come to this point because of weakness and illness in her body. This is what has really been at the grounding point of my decision to sell the house and rent an apartment. I only have so much energy and ability to focus. Where and how do I most want to spend these precious gifts? For some, their balance is found in maintaining a house and yard. For me, it wasn’t. I want to find joy in worship and serving, in friends and companions.

Psalm 131

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; my soul is like the weaned child that is with me. O (insert your name), hope in the Lord from this time on and forevermore.

Wrestling with God

At our small group this week, we watched a short video clip of Barbara Brown Taylor called “The Stance of Unknowing.” While ostensibly about prayer, it really touches on our whole relationship with God and God’s creation. The Koran says that God is as close as our jugular. The Jewish and Christian witness would say God is as close as our breath. Then there are those nights, Taylor says, when she (we) can’t feel God as present at all.

This led us to a time of reflection of what it means when there is no clarity, when our stance does have to be one of unknowing. To me it is the height of arrogance to believe that I have all the clarity on understanding God’s will.

Jen shared a wonderful insight, at least insightful for me as I ponder the threat of schism in the United Methodist Church. She said what if groups that are in disagreement with each other are actually both within God’s will, that it is the very disagreement that is important for us. After all, she reminded us, Israel’s name means “wrestling with God.” If we, as we wrestle with each other, are wrestling with God, then not walking away from one another or from God is important. It is in the wrestling that we learn, and receive a blessing.

What could be the blessing that we receive as we come away with a limp?

Genesis 32:25a-28

Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then the man said, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.”