Listen

I confess that it is so easy for me to get worked up. Over the years I have found that my tongue can move far more quickly to speech than it should. Do you know what I mean? Do you ever find yourself saying something that you regretted almost as soon as it was out of your mouth -- words that hurt; words that bind; words that do not build another up or offer encouragement?

Great advice over the years has been that slow count – 1, 2, 3, 4 …9, 10. It is helpful but sometimes it’s not enough. Quick words without enough thought can lead to more quick words, which can lead to increasing irritation and anger.

James’ advice is to be quick, yes, but quick to listen. Taking time to listen can teach us a great deal. Listening--without getting our next speech ready. Listening—to hear what lies behind or underneath the words. Listening—to the depths of another’s heart. Listening—to how God’s Spirit is moving in and through us to be a witness of grace.

Be quick to listen, and then slow to speak. When I am impassioned, or angered, my words can come out like barbs. When I take time to listen, and then ponder what I hear before my words take shape, there is more space to allow God to dwell in the silence and in the words.

Oh, to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slower yet to anger. It is seldom that anger is truly righteous anger. When I feel the anger begin to rise, or rush to burst forth, the best thing I can do is to say out loud, “I need to go think,” “I need to cool down,” “I’ll be back and then we can talk.” Physiologically, when anxiety and anger begin to take over, our higher functions of reasoning begin to be overpowered by our more primitive instincts. Taking time to cool down allows the adrenaline levels to lower, which helps us think more clearly, and which allows us to hear God’s Spirit at work within us.

Questions

My father gave me a great gift.  Daddy always said that questions are important. “If you don’t ask,” he would say, “you have only one answer.” At other times he would say, “If I stop asking questions, I’ll stop growing, and I’ll be dead.” In many ways, my father had a very simple faith and yet he never discouraged me in asking questions. Driving home from church as a kid, I would start talking about something in the sermon or from our Sunday School lesson and ask questions.

Becky’s professor of systematic theology, Dr. Beverly Mitchell, is my partner in facilitating one of the groups of seminary interns. She says, “I serve a God who can handle the questions.” I figure if I am asking questions and honestly seeking answers then I am staying in relationship. I think God honors that. I don’t have to have all the answers sewn up into a neat package. I don’t have to understand it all. Sometimes I feel like I need certitude, especially when things are shifting around me, but some of the greatest growth comes for me when someone asks a question that shakes me, that makes me stop and think. It helps me think about what is most important.

What is most important is that I give thanks for the questions. I especially give thanks that our God is big enough, vast enough, to provide mystery and allow our imaginations to play. This God who in some awesome way is Three-in-One enters into the dialogue and helps to open me up to keep growing in loving relationship with God and others.

Worries

“What? Me worry?” Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman would say. Bobby McFerrin sang, “Don’t worry, be happy.” Pumba & Timon sang, “Hakuna matata,” in The Lion King.“ That’s Swahili for “no worries for the rest of life.”

Oh, that might be nice if I could just turn off the worry machine, but I’m afraid that just doesn’t work. I have concerns. I have a lot of details that need looking after. So I have worries. Normal household worries. Normal parent worries. Normal job worries. Add to those now, worries about health, about chemo outcomes. Will or when will this metastasized cancer pop up again in Jeff?

When Jesus told his disciples not to worry, I don’t think he meant a kind of amnesiac version of not worrying. He ended the whole thing by saying, “strive first for the kingdom of God and God’s righteousness…” God knows that we have concerns over the details of our lives. These concerns are not unimportant, but the question becomes--do these concerns take over our lives so that we have no attention left for what is most important?

It can be especially hard when I wake in the middle of the night with my brain whirring 1000 mph, when the worries and details seem overwhelming. That’s when I can “turn my eyes upon Jesus.” If I can keep my eyes turned to Jesus, then all else will find a way into balance, the worries and details need not overwhelm me. They can assume their appropriate place of being a part of living a life of God-graced purpose.

And so, instead of saying, "What? Me worry?" I pray, "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." Instead of singing, "Don't worry, be happy," I sing, "The Lord is my light, my light and salvation. In God I trust, in God I trust." Instead of humming, "Hakuna matata," I mouth the words, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in his wonderful face..."

Happy would-have-been-83rd birthday, Daddy!

 Thanks be to God for my father who was born 83 years ago today. He died in 1992 at the age of 64. We miss him very much.

This was Mickey Morris when he was a young sailor.This was a double exposure taken when he was stationed on Kodiak Island.

Here he was a young lad.

My daddy with me at my cousin Joan's wedding in August, 1974.

What is most important...

Sometimes, my life gets so focused on tasks that need to be accomplished that I can become either myopic-concentrating on the near at hand-or so far-sighted that I miss what is up close. Now these tasks that claim my focus are not unimportant. Besides some of the day-to-day tasks of making a home for a family, dealing with health issues, there are also the details of being a part of the ministry of Christ Crossman UMC-planning for worship, preparing to preach, visiting, praying, teaching.... These are all important, however sometimes I need to be brought out of that intense focus. This morning, a fortuitous greeting brought me that relief.

Two-year old R came to the office with his mom, K, while she was a volunteer counter. Now I have known R his whole long life, but have never gotten to be with him for any length of time. I was surprised when he reached out his arms for me to hold him, and without any prelude, gave me a kiss. He said he liked the rain, and then he snuggled in on my shoulder. We went into my office where he drew roads and colored tracings of his hand.

Thank you, R, for reminding me of what is most important this morning.

If for any moment we forget that Jesus came to give us life, all we have to do is be with a child, in their space, for just a few minutes, and gain a deeper perspective. Our God did not and does not look upon us from afar, but came to be with us in the midst of life, offering us the undeserved, unmerited kiss of grace.

If onlys

A few weeks ago a friend posted this status on Facebook: "If only, if only, if only...I'm not sure if those 2 words are the healthiest...." She meant it about wanting the parmesan cheese to be put in the same place consistently, but it really caught my eye, and my mind. I have been thinking quite a bit about this lately. I find it so easy to say, "if only," when something does not go my way. If only the boys would pick up after themselves... If only that driver would go faster/slower... If only things had gone differently...If only Jeff's cancer hadn't metastasized... If only, if only, then the world would be perfect, right?

When we say, "if only," we are often engaging in wishful thinking--wanting someone else to be who and what we want them to be, not themselves at all. We want situations to go our way.
I find when I get into an "If only" kind of place, then I stop seeing someone for who they are with all the possibilities God has for them; I stop relishing the moment that God has given me. When I start saying "if only," then I'm cutting off my ability to live within the flow of God's grace.
When I come to an "if only" place, I hope to learn to say the Jesus prayer instead: "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."

Do you have "if only" moments too?

Serving in ministry with the people of Christ Crossman is a deep privilege for me. You teach me so much about faithful living in the midst of difficult times. The fellowship that we share as we serve together is beyond all gold and silver.