A surprise visitor for T-day

Just after we finished eating, and I was cleaning up in the kitchen, Andrew went outside and came back in with Aaliyah! What a pleasant surprise. She was here for about 2 and 1/2 hours, then her mommy picked her up. Not walking yet, but cruising well. She ate some cherry crisp with vanilla ice cream, a bit of turkey, and then applesauce.

Thanksgiving

On this Thanksgiving day, I am mindful of how much I have to be thankful for, so many blessings and gifts: my family, my vocation in ministry, my baptism, my health, this congregation, working with the wonderful faithful leadership at Christ Crossman, and on.

I’m sure you can come up with a list of things for which to be thankful today as well.

When Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, he told them to “give thanks in all circumstances.” There’s a big difference in being thankful for things, and giving thanks in all circumstances. I am not thankful for Jeff’s cancer. I am not thankful for war. I am not thankful for griefs. I am not thankful for these things, but I am learning to give thanks in the midst of these things. It’s not even that I am thankful in spite of these things. I am learning that God is with me always, and that I can be with God always. When I open my heart, my soul, to the ever-flowing grace of God in Jesus Christ, there is so much more room within me to experience true gratitude—to receive with true humility.

This day, as we give thanks for all the blessings we know, I pray that we will also be able to give thanks in all the circumstances of our lives, so that we will know more fully the joy of being in a living, loving relationship with the One who has made us, who redeems, and who calls us into the future.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

What Prayer Does

Sometimes we have a tendency to treat prayer as an almost magical incantation that will bring about our heart’s desire, or keep something bad from happening. When I listened at The Nexus to a conversation between Two Really Smart Guys, an atheist who’s a mathematician and a Christian who’s a physicist, I was struck by what was a primary goal of the atheist: to avoid suffering. Granted, he didn’t want just to avoid suffering for himself; he also wanted to eliminate suffering for others. He talked about how prayer doesn’t work because it doesn’t result in what one asks for.

To me, that is completely the wrong way of looking at prayer. Prayer is not about giving us our desires or wishes or even filling our needs. It’s about being in living relationship with God. When I spend time in prayer, I am drawn into a deeper relationship. My focus changes from being about my needs and desires to wanting what God wants.

Throughout Jeff’s treatment, my prayer has been for the best that is possible in God’s eyes. I do not know what healing or curing would be best, so I leave it in God’s hands.

As of the latest CT scan, there is no visible evidence of anything growing. This is good. He is recovering from the debilitating effects of the chemotherapy. He plans to be back to teaching around Thanksgiving. This is all good and I give thanks. I also continue to pray that when (as we have been told it will) the CA re-emerges, we will be strengthened for the journey by all of God’s loving grace.

We Honor Those Who Have Served

Mickey Morris enlisted in the Navy during his senior year of high school. He was only seventeen years old but he wanted to serve his nation. Before he finished basic training World War II ended. He was stationed first on Kodiak Island in Alaska. Actually, the Navy somehow lost track of him, so he wasn’t receiving his pay. While he was able to eat in the mess and had his uniforms to wear, he did not have money for anything else. The Navy had to contact his mother in Alabama to find out where he was. Fortunately, they found him and brought his pay up to date.

Then he was stationed on Okinawa. While the war was officially over, there were still Japanese soldiers who had not yet heard the news and continued to fight. Mickey was honorably discharged from the Navy on the day before his 21^st birthday.

I give thanks for those like Mickey, my father, who have been willing to place their lives on the line for the sake of others. 

Today we remember all who have served in the various branches of the military throughout our nation’s history. We remember those who have been willing to place their lives in danger to help bring about peace. May we honor their service by living our lives with justice and mercy for all. Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God. [Mt 6:9]

Prayers for a young friend and his family

A young adult friend and his family are hurting badly. He had come home from college because of a severe depression. Earlier this week, he tried to hurt himself. He is now in in-patient treatment. Please remember him, his parents and siblings in your prayers.

Milestones

This week we have celebrated a couple of milestones. On Monday, Maxwell turned 14. That day, fourteen years ago, was filled with joy and with fear. After about seventeen hours of hard labor, he was born but he wasn’t breathing. The cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times. The neonatologist and NICU nurse were in the room with us waiting. I remember that I prayed, and cried without tears. His first minute Apgar was a 2. They worked quickly. The labor nurse was the only one who spoke, saying, “He has such long eyelashes.” His 5 minute Apgar was a 9. When he began crying, that’s when the tears came, along with the first verse of “Amazing Grace.”

Also on Monday, Andrew bought a used car. Watching him receive the keys from the seller was such a joy. He drove all of us to Maxwell’s birthday dinner. I am amazed at how much he has grown up lately. He’s working full-time, making sure he gets up and out when he needs to. He’s a good dad for his daughter. Sure, he will still ask for help sometimes, thank goodness. I don’t want to feel totally outgrown!

The song, “Sunrise, Sunset,” from Fiddler on the Roof, has been playing in my head this week. One moment, they are babies; the next, it seems, they are driving away on their own. Like Mary, Jesus’ mother, I treasure the memories in my heart, and give thanks as I watch my boys grow in wisdom along with their years.

I can only imagine that God looks at each one of us, treasuring the moments of wisdom and growth. While I don’t want to anthropomorphize God into merely a super human being, I do believe that for God relationship is very important. The whole purpose of Creation, in my way of thinking, is for there to be “more” relationship. God has so much love, is so much love that the impetus is for more creation to receive that love.

Listen

I confess that it is so easy for me to get worked up. Over the years I have found that my tongue can move far more quickly to speech than it should. Do you know what I mean? Do you ever find yourself saying something that you regretted almost as soon as it was out of your mouth -- words that hurt; words that bind; words that do not build another up or offer encouragement?

Great advice over the years has been that slow count – 1, 2, 3, 4 …9, 10. It is helpful but sometimes it’s not enough. Quick words without enough thought can lead to more quick words, which can lead to increasing irritation and anger.

James’ advice is to be quick, yes, but quick to listen. Taking time to listen can teach us a great deal. Listening--without getting our next speech ready. Listening—to hear what lies behind or underneath the words. Listening—to the depths of another’s heart. Listening—to how God’s Spirit is moving in and through us to be a witness of grace.

Be quick to listen, and then slow to speak. When I am impassioned, or angered, my words can come out like barbs. When I take time to listen, and then ponder what I hear before my words take shape, there is more space to allow God to dwell in the silence and in the words.

Oh, to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slower yet to anger. It is seldom that anger is truly righteous anger. When I feel the anger begin to rise, or rush to burst forth, the best thing I can do is to say out loud, “I need to go think,” “I need to cool down,” “I’ll be back and then we can talk.” Physiologically, when anxiety and anger begin to take over, our higher functions of reasoning begin to be overpowered by our more primitive instincts. Taking time to cool down allows the adrenaline levels to lower, which helps us think more clearly, and which allows us to hear God’s Spirit at work within us.

Questions

My father gave me a great gift.  Daddy always said that questions are important. “If you don’t ask,” he would say, “you have only one answer.” At other times he would say, “If I stop asking questions, I’ll stop growing, and I’ll be dead.” In many ways, my father had a very simple faith and yet he never discouraged me in asking questions. Driving home from church as a kid, I would start talking about something in the sermon or from our Sunday School lesson and ask questions.

Becky’s professor of systematic theology, Dr. Beverly Mitchell, is my partner in facilitating one of the groups of seminary interns. She says, “I serve a God who can handle the questions.” I figure if I am asking questions and honestly seeking answers then I am staying in relationship. I think God honors that. I don’t have to have all the answers sewn up into a neat package. I don’t have to understand it all. Sometimes I feel like I need certitude, especially when things are shifting around me, but some of the greatest growth comes for me when someone asks a question that shakes me, that makes me stop and think. It helps me think about what is most important.

What is most important is that I give thanks for the questions. I especially give thanks that our God is big enough, vast enough, to provide mystery and allow our imaginations to play. This God who in some awesome way is Three-in-One enters into the dialogue and helps to open me up to keep growing in loving relationship with God and others.

Worries

“What? Me worry?” Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman would say. Bobby McFerrin sang, “Don’t worry, be happy.” Pumba & Timon sang, “Hakuna matata,” in The Lion King.“ That’s Swahili for “no worries for the rest of life.”

Oh, that might be nice if I could just turn off the worry machine, but I’m afraid that just doesn’t work. I have concerns. I have a lot of details that need looking after. So I have worries. Normal household worries. Normal parent worries. Normal job worries. Add to those now, worries about health, about chemo outcomes. Will or when will this metastasized cancer pop up again in Jeff?

When Jesus told his disciples not to worry, I don’t think he meant a kind of amnesiac version of not worrying. He ended the whole thing by saying, “strive first for the kingdom of God and God’s righteousness…” God knows that we have concerns over the details of our lives. These concerns are not unimportant, but the question becomes--do these concerns take over our lives so that we have no attention left for what is most important?

It can be especially hard when I wake in the middle of the night with my brain whirring 1000 mph, when the worries and details seem overwhelming. That’s when I can “turn my eyes upon Jesus.” If I can keep my eyes turned to Jesus, then all else will find a way into balance, the worries and details need not overwhelm me. They can assume their appropriate place of being a part of living a life of God-graced purpose.

And so, instead of saying, "What? Me worry?" I pray, "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." Instead of singing, "Don't worry, be happy," I sing, "The Lord is my light, my light and salvation. In God I trust, in God I trust." Instead of humming, "Hakuna matata," I mouth the words, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in his wonderful face..."

Happy would-have-been-83rd birthday, Daddy!

 Thanks be to God for my father who was born 83 years ago today. He died in 1992 at the age of 64. We miss him very much.

This was Mickey Morris when he was a young sailor.This was a double exposure taken when he was stationed on Kodiak Island.

Here he was a young lad.

My daddy with me at my cousin Joan's wedding in August, 1974.

What is most important...

Sometimes, my life gets so focused on tasks that need to be accomplished that I can become either myopic-concentrating on the near at hand-or so far-sighted that I miss what is up close. Now these tasks that claim my focus are not unimportant. Besides some of the day-to-day tasks of making a home for a family, dealing with health issues, there are also the details of being a part of the ministry of Christ Crossman UMC-planning for worship, preparing to preach, visiting, praying, teaching.... These are all important, however sometimes I need to be brought out of that intense focus. This morning, a fortuitous greeting brought me that relief.

Two-year old R came to the office with his mom, K, while she was a volunteer counter. Now I have known R his whole long life, but have never gotten to be with him for any length of time. I was surprised when he reached out his arms for me to hold him, and without any prelude, gave me a kiss. He said he liked the rain, and then he snuggled in on my shoulder. We went into my office where he drew roads and colored tracings of his hand.

Thank you, R, for reminding me of what is most important this morning.

If for any moment we forget that Jesus came to give us life, all we have to do is be with a child, in their space, for just a few minutes, and gain a deeper perspective. Our God did not and does not look upon us from afar, but came to be with us in the midst of life, offering us the undeserved, unmerited kiss of grace.

If onlys

A few weeks ago a friend posted this status on Facebook: "If only, if only, if only...I'm not sure if those 2 words are the healthiest...." She meant it about wanting the parmesan cheese to be put in the same place consistently, but it really caught my eye, and my mind. I have been thinking quite a bit about this lately. I find it so easy to say, "if only," when something does not go my way. If only the boys would pick up after themselves... If only that driver would go faster/slower... If only things had gone differently...If only Jeff's cancer hadn't metastasized... If only, if only, then the world would be perfect, right?

When we say, "if only," we are often engaging in wishful thinking--wanting someone else to be who and what we want them to be, not themselves at all. We want situations to go our way.
I find when I get into an "If only" kind of place, then I stop seeing someone for who they are with all the possibilities God has for them; I stop relishing the moment that God has given me. When I start saying "if only," then I'm cutting off my ability to live within the flow of God's grace.
When I come to an "if only" place, I hope to learn to say the Jesus prayer instead: "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."

Do you have "if only" moments too?

Serving in ministry with the people of Christ Crossman is a deep privilege for me. You teach me so much about faithful living in the midst of difficult times. The fellowship that we share as we serve together is beyond all gold and silver.

The First of the Next Generation in our Family

Here is baby Adrian with his grampa, my brother Bill. Thanks be to God for his safe arrival, for his dad Ben, and his mom Lisa.

The Difference between Wishing and Hoping

Eugene Peterson, in Living the Message, Daily Help for Living the God-Centered Life (p. 290, Harper One, 1996), makes a really helpful distinction between wishing and hoping. "Wishing grows out of our egos; hope grows out of our faith. Hope is oriented toward what God is doing; wishing is oriented toward what we are doing...Wishing is our will projected into the future, and hope is God's will coming out of the future. Picture it in your mind: wishing is a line that comes out of me, with an arrow pointing into the future. Hoping is a line that comes out of God from the future, with an arrow pointing toward me."

In talking with Jen, our resident bridge between the worlds of faith and science, I have begun to see this at work in creation. In God, there is really no time. For us limited finite creatures, we experience God at the beginning giving the push that began all of creation. We experience God in the midst of creation as the incarnated presence redeeming creation and as the Spirit who touches us with grace. And we experience God pulling us towards the fulfillment of all creation, which for us is in the future, though for God, it exists now and eternally.

While it may not seem to make much difference to our everyday, practical lives, it actually makes an incredible difference. How we live and experience the present moment is very different when we are hoping that things could or would be better rather than living in expectation, "anticipation of what God is going to do next."

This is a part of why my prayer is not for God to bless what I am doing, but that I may be a part of what God is blessing, since that is actually a part of the pull of the fullness of creation in God.

Mickey Morris

Today, October 9, would have been my father's 80th birthday. What can I say about my champion?

He was the youngest of three children of Wallace Elmer Morris & Marie Hauerwas. He was a devoted husband and father. For several years he had to travel a great deal for work. It was hard on all of us, but it was very important to him that later we knew, especially my brother, he had always been faithful to my mother when he was away.

He delighted in finding gifts for my mother. He would buy them almost all year long, and wrap each one of them up for Christmas. He would pick up the presents from under the tree and very gently weigh it, rock it and see if he knew what it was.

I remember speech lessons with my father. I had had recurring tonsilitis from very early (6 weeks old) until they were removed when I was about 3 or 4. Evidently this problem had caused some difficulty with pronouncing certain sounds. I can remember one of these speech lessons quite clearly. I had come in from playing outside and asked if I could have a "piece of tate" (cake). I didn't get my piece of cake, or go back out to play for quite some time. I sat on the footstool between my father's knees as he taught me to pronounce words correctly. He wasn't harsh, just firm.

In the Fall of 1990, when my older son was just a baby, Daddy was diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig's Disease. It is a terrible affliction. Normally, those who suffer from ALS die 3-5 years after diagnosis, but Daddy died only 21 months later.

Some Mickey-isms:
--If you don't ask, you only have one answer.
--To screw a lid, or a faucet cap on, start by screwing it backwards until it finds its groove, then it will go on easily.
--Use your elbow grease when you sweep (or do any chore).
--If I ever stop being a boy, I will be dead.

Thanks be to God for Mickey Morris!

Looking for green shoots

Yesterday, at our District clergy meeting, Paul Nixon spoke on I Refuse to Lead a Dying Church (also the name of his new book). Paul is seeking to plant a new church called Epicenter DC based in Arlington, VA.

For years now, we've been hearing from church growth "experts" as if all we need to do is get with the plan (whatever one is current) and our churches will grow. The truth is that we are in a changing world. The world into which many of us were born and grew up is not the world with which we have to deal today. Not only do we have many more technological advances in our lives, but we also face a far more scattered, globalized society. The same thing is true about the church. The church in which I was ordained and sent into ministry is not the church of today. The rapid changes with which we have to deal, the constantly moving "targets" are enough to make some of us wish for the good-ol' simpler days. Yeah, I confess that sometimes I wish things were more constant, more simple, that I could just coast for a while. But that is not our reality.

Paul talked about there being things that we cannot control--such as where we are appointed, the changing demographics of our community, the increasing average age of a congregation, and, oh, so many things. But there is one thing we can do--look for the green shoots. Look for where life is and tend it. Choose life over death.

A New Singer in Heaven

Madeleine L'Engle's voice through her many books, both fiction and nonfiction, has been a song sung for the glory of the Creator. Her work allowed those of us who are bound to the earth to soar about the universe and into the depths of the human body and psyche. Those who would try to narrowly define her work always missed the mark.

Her vision was clear as it found its expression through her pen. She helped us to see how God's amazing love transcends all human limitations.

Thanks be to God for Madeleine! We will miss her. Rest in peace and find joy with those who have gone before you.

Reconciliation

Jesus said, "So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.(Mt 5:23-24 NRSV)"

On Saturday, after a meeting at church, I divined, from a question asked by my lay leader, that I had offended a member. I had talked with her in the days preceding a surgery, and had called afterwards to see how she was doing, but hadn't talked to her, or visited her. I gave an answer to my lay leader, but it nagged at my heart all day long. I didn't sleep well at all. Part of my head was trying to justify my action (inaction), but my heart was grieving for the pain I caused.

She was at the first service on Sunday. I greeted her, but I could tell that she had bad feelings towards me. All during the service, the disquiet in my heart continued to grow, making it difficult to stay focused on the message. At the end of the service, I asked her into my office. As much as that part in my head wanted to offer an explanation or a defense, all I could say was, "I have offended you. I'm sorry." She didn't have to forgive me, but she chose to. Thanks be to God! During the second service, my heart, my spirit was much more free to focus on the Word and the people present.

When our words, actions, or even inactions cause our brother or sister pain or grief, especially once we are aware of it, no matter how hard it may be for us, our spirits will be lessened unless we confess and seek forgiveness. If our confession is received and forgiveness offered, then both our spirits can be freed. If forgiveness is not offered, there may still be grief for us, but we have honestly made a step towards reconciliation. We cannot control how another responds and chooses to act.

I don't like being in the wrong. I don't like being caught being in the wrong, but thanks be to God for those with courage to face us with accountability for our actions.

A Mother Watching

Watching our children grow up is beautiful and incredibly hard. Our older son has always marched according to his own drum. His own personality (ESTP by the Myers/Briggs Type Indicator), when mixed with ADHD & ODD, hasn't always helped him in making wise, thoughtful decisions. Anger has also been a difficult issue for him to deal with. I see hopeful signs, and wait with bated breath to see what will blossom. Our younger son, in playing his Pokemon game, talked this morning about the "bide" attack. If he waits through 2 turns doing nothing, then he can use the combined strength of whatever attacks were used against him during those 2 turns. It's an interesting spin on "bide," but it's also helpful to learn that sometimes it is better when we "bide" our time, waiting to see what will unfold rather than rushing in.

Nurturing towards purpose

Fall is coming! Actually, today almost feels as though it is in the late fall with the rain and cooler temperatures. I know that we will have more heat before we get through September, but it’s nice to know that the seasons do indeed change.

The first thing I notice is that my morning walk is getting darker and darker even though I’m not getting up and out any earlier. The second thing I notice is that our college students have been leaving to begin or return to their studies. Some of the anticipation is excitement, waiting to see what else new will happen. But part of the anticipation is dread, wondering what on earth else will happen now.

As with any gift, change is a two-edged sword. I see my boys growing up and I rejoice in their increasing abilities and independence, but I also think somewhat longingly of the days when they were young enough to want Mom to dry their tears and help them in difficult situations.

One of my purposes in life is to receive these precious gifts of life and help nurture them to become strong and develop their own sense of purpose and vocation in life. Not only is that my purpose with my boys, but it is also my purpose as a pastor.

Each person in C²UMC, in fact each person I encounter, is a precious gift. Part of my purpose is to help the community of faith nurture this gift so that each can develop or continue to develop their own sense of purpose and vocation.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life and your journey in finding and developing your purpose and vocation as a part of Christ’s family here on earth.