A Tiny Piece of Sand

Have you ever noticed how a tiny piece of sand or an eensy bit of a stone can start to feel huge when it gets caught inside your shoe? Once it catches your attention, it pulls your focus in close. At times, the focus gets drawn in some so closely that the bit of sand is all we can see. Everything we perceive is seen through that particular lens. It’s a natural thing to happen.

Over the last several weeks, it was really hard to keep my focus from being fixed on a “little bit of sand.” After surgery in July, a complication arose that finally took a second surgery to correct. I am just now beginning to see my way clear past the recovery phase.

Even while we were with family in Texas, I had to work hard to keep this problem from consuming all my focus. I was able to enjoy being with family, but all the time the bit of sand stayed at least at the corner of my awareness.

How often, in our lives, does our attention get drawn away from what is most important and ends up being fixed on our discomfort? We may even begin to wonder how others could not be aware of this bit of sand. Surely they must see how large it looms, and yet they truly seem unaware. For me, it reminds me to have perspective on my own life; it also reminds me that I too am unaware of what is happening in the life of someone else. As God’s grace is sufficient for me, let me also offer it to others.

2 Corinthians 12:7b-9a

Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”

Still Small Point

I awoke in the middle of the night and found it hard to go back to sleep, partly because it is hard to sleep propped up on pillows so that a surgical drain stays in place, partly because my mind is filled with reeling thoughts from my reading on church leadership from my D.Min. classes, from a conversation with a young colleague who finds that being sole pastor of a small struggling church can be isolating, from concerns of nestlings that have difficulty leaving the nest, from senseless shootings in DC only one block from our beloved AnnaMaria, and lets face it, from awareness of my impending 60th birthday next week.

Does that single run-on sentence give a small sense of a world that keeps swirling around making it difficult to find peace?

Years ago, in a novel by Dorothy Sayers, a character writes eight lines of a sonnet ending with an image of a spinning world asleep on its axis at a “heart of rest”, but cannot find the right turning for a concluding sestet, and then finds the perfect words written in her notebook by someone to whom she owes her life but who makes no claims upon her. Building on her words and images, he turns the sonnet to a re-sounding, re-echoing heart of music, asleep.

A still center. A still small turning. A still small point. In the work I have done over the last year using Parker Palmer's Courage to Lead© format, one of the important images for me has been that of holding a small bird cupped in my hands. In this discernment work, that small bird represents the person who is the focus of a clearness committee. It's not up to me to launch the bird into flight, or to dissect its abilities. My work is simply to hold it in my hands, keeping my focus on the person, asking a few open and honest questions.

Tonight as I found it difficult to return to the embrace of somnolence, I saw that small bird in my hands as myself in the hands of God's Spirit. God will not force me to fly before being ready. God asks of me some probing, open, honest questions that allow me the privilege of taking time to see myself more deeply, and that allow me to know I am held in a loving, trustworthy embrace. I don't know that sleep will return tonight. That doesn't really matter. What matters is the still small turning, the still small point of God's hands cupped around me in the midst of a swirling universe. I am held. I am loved. I am able to fly when ready.    

Luke 12.7:

But even the hairs of your head are all counted. Do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Surrounded by Grace

Hezekiah 3:16—“God helps those who help themselves.”

I vacillate between not wanting to be a burden and knowing that others want to offer aid. I generally choose the former route. It’s not that I’m trying to be a supermom/pastor/person, but that I’m trying not to impose on anyone. Okay, I will also admit that I do not like looking weak or incompetent. Over the last several weeks, I have had to admit once again that I cannot do it alone. If it weren’t for those around me, I would fall on my face time and again. The closer I get to 60, the more I know I need others.

I could make a long list of those who have made it possible for me to keep going, and who have reminded me that I don’t have to always keep going. Some of those are family like my wonderful sister-in-law Barbara. Some are staff like Jen and Kate. Some are lay leaders like Judy Brown and Cathy Tong. Some are the terrific staff at the Wound Care Center at Virginia Hospital Center. So this week, my note comes a little late as I recover from outpatient surgery. I am grateful that God’s grace comes so much more abundantly than I can ever imagine. Whether in the midst of calm or storm, I am surrounded by our loving God who works through human vessels.

[BTW, if you have been trying to find the book of Hezekiah in the Bible, you won’t be able to find it. While Hezekiah was a king, there is no such book. It makes a great citation though for famous phrases that surely must be in the Bible somewhere, but aren’t. The quote above is actually from Benjamin Franklin. For other Hezekiah citations, see this list.] 

Galatians 6:2

Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Waves of the Spirit

This week, I sat out at night on the deck hearing the cicadas, crickets and other insects make enough racket to almost drown out the sounds of traffic and the AC condenser—almost enough. Probably my favorite nature sound of all is to hear the waves at the beach. That was one of the best parts about camping at the National Seashore Campground on Ocracoke Island. We were close enough to be able to hear the waves all night long. There was no electricity at the campsites, and generators could not be used after 10 p.m.

The motion and sound of the waves somehow reminds me of the Spirit at work. It is always at work, lapping the shoreline, sometimes gently, sometimes with great gusto and even seemingly brutally. It is always at work but I am not always attentive, especially to the gentle sounds. God’s Spirit is at work in my life, in your life, in the world without fail. Sometimes we notice it, more often not. We tend to notice more when there is the great whooshing of the wind, the roar of unbridled waves in a storm. We notice and are more likely than not discomfited as our lives are disarranged as a shoreline is reconfigured by a storm.

Over the last several months in particular I have been trying to listen, to discern how God’s Spirit is moving in and through Christ Crossman UMC. I hope you have been listening too. This Sunday as we celebrate the Season of Creation in Ocean, I am going to be listening and watching intently as our children receive Bibles, and as our youth share about their experiences in mission this summer. Where and how are their lives being shaped by the Spirit? Where and how is the Spirit shaping the shoreline of our community?

Exodus 14:21b

The Lord drove the sea back by a strong east wind all night, and turned the sea into dry land; and the waters were divided.

Out of My Control

Over the past three weeks while I have been away Nina, Jen and Jeremy each wrote a guest post responding to a question I asked: How does God call me out of my comfort zone in order bear fruit? It's only fair that I respond as well.

Every week for three years, I have written a brief email message to you, often using what was going on in my life for reflection. I wrote them during Jeff’s illness and after his death. I wrote them during my own treatment for breast cancer. I wrote them when I was on vacation. This year, shortly before leaving on our trip, I asked the three who would be preaching while I was away to write guest posts and email them to me so that I could post them. The first week away, Nina sent me her reflection and I posted it. The second week, Jen sent me a note saying that her post was written and scheduled for sending. And then she posted and scheduled Jeremy’s reflection for this past week. I have to admit I was taken back a bit. I realized that it was hard for me to let go of control.

I shared this in a somewhat humorous tone during staff meeting this week, but it is a real issue for me. I felt as though God were putting a hand up to get my attention to remind me that I am not in control, and that God was helping me on how I have been working on trying not to be a bottleneck to the Spirit’s work. It was as if God said, “See, I took you out of the loop here, and all was well. Get used to it.” This was a gentle reminder but I definitely felt uncomfortable, mostly with the realization that I didn’t like not being in control. God’s Spirit is not something I can control. It blows where it will. I just pray I can stay aware of it.

John 3:8

The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.

Guest Post: Jeremy Koontz: How does God call me out of my comfort zone in order to bear fruit?

While I am visiting family, I have asked our "guest" preachers to reflect on a particular question:

How does God call me out of my comfort zone in order to bear fruit? The reflection will be a guest post here.

Asking ourselves what God wants of us can easily be answered with, "what I already do now, of course" but what if there is something more?  As a fledging married person, my initial response to how God is challenging me was to bless people with friendship and hospitality in my new home.  Sounds good, right?  Well, maybe that is an okay start but it seems like something is missing.  In my case, I do good works and for all intensive purposes am a decent person.  People look favorably upon me like a innocent puppy or a flashy popular TV show.  Sometimes strangers say nice things about me for no apparent reason.  All these things mean I'm okay with God, right?  Having to even ask the question seems to suggest the opposite.  Lately, I have let many friendships linger when I could have called or sent a letter.  I have witnessed injustice within arms reach and stood by idly.  I have prayed and read God's word, yet not made a dwelling for the Risen One in the seat of my consciousness. I've kept my Christian identity secret and felt ashamed to even mention the name of Jesus. I have sinned greatly, my family, forgive me.  

The first step to forgiveness is not receiving absolution, rather, it is to confess!  When we confess, we awaken to the divine reality that God is capable of forgiveness. God can change the power of the seas and turn darkness into light.  As a fast-food culture, we honestly don't prepare enough time for confession; we don't let it sink in.

One of my favorite manservant jobs to do around the apartment is to cook.  One thing I've learned is to appreciate spices and allow them to have its time to properly sink into the meat.  Strangely enough, I think a similiar logic in confession applies in cooking. Think of reflection, prayer, and confession as the divine spices and our hearts are the unprepared raw meat (I'm thinking of a red New York Strip steak, and you?). If you throw the steak on the grill right away, it's going to taste so-so but it's worlds away in how good it can be.  Likewise, when we confess, perhaps we really need to take a time-out and be alone with a journal or confide in a mentor about how you feel God is distant in your life.  

I have already begun doing this and I must say, I am greatly relieved.  The experience is like being released from ignorance and having a new perspective on joy and pleasure; its more synonymous with rejuvenation as opposed to self-consumption.  Jesus is known for refering to discipleship as being flavorful like salt.  "You are the salt of the earth" He says, and I think that is a way of saying that true Christian spirituality can bring much needed seasonings like life and joy to a community and a nation--if we learn to be more salty.

 

Blessings,

Jeremy Koontz

Guest Contributor

Guest Post: Jennifer Secki Shields--How does God call me out of my comfort zone in order to bear fruit?

While I am visiting family, I have asked our "guest" preachers to reflect on a particular question:

How does God call me out of my comfort zone in order to bear fruit? The reflection will be a guest post here.

Each Sunday, my family wakes bright and early to get ready for church.  Since I'm the Director of Christian Education and Don is in the praise band, we arrive an hour or more before worship begins.  On my drive to church I pass the joggers and cyclists.  I pass the dog walkers drinking their coffee.  With a twinge of envy, I notice their "day of rest" looks much more restful than mine.  But, I'm on my way to church, to answer God's call to "bear fruit"--to do my little part to try to make this world a bit more like God imagined it when he birthed it.  We engage in a whirlwind of activities both before and after worship.  It is 1:00pm before we return home, and nearly 2:00pm before we have lunch.

Who would choose this as an enjoyable--a comfortable-- way to spend their Sundays?

Truthfully, following Jesus isn't meant to be comfortable--and Jesus didn't mince words about that.  Jesus described his own comfort level as not even having a place to lay his head (Matt. 8:20) and said, "...the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it" (Matt. 7:14).  So why choose this way of life following Jesus?  Because as pleasant as it may be to sleep in on a Sunday, sip coffee, or go for a run, those comforts pale in comparison to the rest and peace that comes from a life lived with God.  My faith does not make me immune to the troubles of human existence.  But, amidst the stress and unpredictability and heartaches, I find strength and calm, blessed with an unwavering vision of hope and redemption given by God, manifest in Jesus, and lived out with those who walk this road with me.

The comforts of the world cannot satisfy a craving for God nor calm the disquiet in the human soul.  No human comfort zone provides adequate answers for our deepest questions--who is God?  Who am I and what is my purpose in this universe?  Who are we, together on this earth?

Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Matt. 11:29).  It is yet another strange-but-true paradox from the Gospels--by going out of our comfort zones for the kingdom of God, we find rest and peace that the world, with all its comforts, cannot give.

 

With you on the journey,

Jennifer Secki Shields

Guest Contributor

Guest Post: How does God call me out of my comfort zone in order to bear fruit?

While I am visiting family, I have asked our "guest" preachers to reflect on a particular question:

How does God call me out of my comfort zone in order to bear fruit? 

The reflection will be a guest post here.

Early last week, I received a text message out of the blue from a former colleague. “It looks like there is extra breast tissue on my left breast. I have to get a second mammogram. Please keep me in your prayers,” my friend writes. After the initial shock, I responded, “Of course, you’re in my prayers.” Then out of nowhere I offered to accompany her to her appointment. My friend gratefully accepted. OK. God, what did you get me into?

Now at the time, I was thinking, I’m coming along, being there for friend. But when I met her two days later, I discovered that I’ll be driving her to her appointment. Now, I am not a born-to-drive driver. I don’t experience the thrill or freedom of the open road like others. I prefer to get around by walking or taking public transportation. But here I am, picking her up in Falls Church and taking her to Reston and back. I’m in unfamiliar territory: I’m out of my comfort zone.

God has an uncanny way of calling me out of my comfort zone nearly every day, whether it’s driving to unfamiliar places or reassessing my career track after working at the same firm for over eight years. By calling me out of my comfort zone, God reminds me not to take things and people for granted, to not be complacent and that no matter what, He will always be there. Through the experience, God’s grace is always revealed. Appropriately enough, the Upper Room devotional on the day of my friend’s mammogram was from Psalm 31:5: [The psalmist wrote:] “Into your hands I commit my spirit; deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.”

My friend’s test results came out definitively negative. She has no abnormal tissue growth. She and I celebrated the good news over lunch. Thank you, God, for my friend’s life and continued friendship. God is great!

Peace,

Nina de las Alas

Guest Contributor

“Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God.” – Psalm 31:5.

Taking Risk

I have some bulbs sitting in a box in my bedroom. The purpose of these bulbs was to plant them in the yard so they could grow and flower. They’re not doing much good sitting over there in a box rather than having been planted—over a year ago! Oh, well, I can make excuses. I have plenty of “good” reasons why I didn’t get around to it, but that doesn’t change the fact that there they sit, not being allowed to fulfill their purpose.

Several years ago, I used an illustration of an ice cube for a children’s message. If I tried to save the ice cube in my pocket, it would just melt and be of no use to me at all. And even if I tried to save it in the freezer, it would eventually dwindle away, and be no use. The only way to fulfill its purpose would be to use it to cool my drink.

I have been thinking about this in terms of the church. We have resources that we tend carefully. We are good stewards of these resources. Or are we? How are we called to move out in what may feel like risky ways in order to bear fruit? We really need to think about this, and pray about this. God is calling us to bear fruit. How best can we do that?

John 12.24:

Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

"Never let your fear decide your fate"

I heard a song on the radio when Andrew and I were running some errands. It was on a station I do not normally listen to. A phrase in the song caught my attention: “never let your fear decide your fate.” Looking it up just now on the internet, I found that the band’s name is Awolnation. I am not familiar with them or their music, and the rest of the song didn’t grab me, but that particular phrase was powerful.

How often do we do just that—let our fear decide our fate? That attitude is so much at play in the world. I’m not talking about a healthy awareness of risk. I’m talking about allowing our fear to get the upper hand in our lives. Fear got the upper hand when George Zimmerman followed Trayvon Martin and ended up killing him.

Our fears may be small or they may be large. They may be justified or not. I would not intentionally expose myself to danger, but how often do I evaluate a situation as far more dangerous than it is simply because it is unknown and unfamiliar to me? Why don’t I look more with eyes and a heart of love and compassion? I really liked a meme I saw on Facebook last week: “I dream of a world where George Zimmerman offered Trayvon Martin a ride in the rain.” That would be a world where love and compassion take the upper hand.

1 John 4:18

Perfect love casts out fear.

Response to Injustice: Examine my own heart

What can we say in the midst of injustice? Do we assume that we are on the side of justice? Yesterday my older son Andrew said that he thinks both sides have it wrong on the Zimmerman/Martin case. Why would I think that he has any authority to speak a word on this matter? As a young man of mixed race, who is identified by most people as black, though raised in a home most would identify as white, he faces the same instantaneous judgments so quickly made by strangers.

In response to Andrew’s comment, I read him a blog post by Steve Garnaas-Holmes at Unfolding Light [scroll down to the entry titled “Neighborhood Watch]. He agreed that this was the best he has read about the issue.

We have to begin seeing others as neighbors. We have to pause to consider our own assumptions. We have to question where our thoughts and actions will lead. I know that this is not the way of the world, but this is the way of the Kingdom, or as some call it the Kindom of God. We are all kin because we are all children of our God who loves each one with the fullness of all love possible. This love is not limited by where or whom we are raised, to whom we are born, by what faith or non-faith we claim, or any other of a myriad of criteria set by humans. This love is not limited because it comes out of the limitless heart of the God we know most fully as Trinity--a community of love so powerful that all creation was set in motion by it.

With this said, it does not mean that we are not responsible and accountable for seeking justice in this world. While all human institutions have flaws, the United Methodist Church has stood on the side of justice in many ways. We need to keep challenging and being challenged in our efforts.

We also need to challenge our vision and our hearts to see and receive others as children of God, as sisters and brothers. This past Sunday during our hymn sing, we sang “Let There Be Peace on Earth.” We pray that peace begins with us, with me. Am I living in such a way that the way I treat others leads to peace or not?

Micah 6:8b

and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Grateful for Community

Grateful… surrounded by loving community, even when it is across the miles.

Last December, we began our midweek prayer circle in the chapel. It’s open to anyone. Primarily, there are three of us who felt a deep need for a time when we weren’t talking about prayer, or learning more about it, but simply doing it together. Most of our time is spent in silence. Since we are mostly in silence, you might wonder why we do it together. There is community even in silence, when our quiet breathing helps us to be centered on the One who is Community personified. Our God who is Three in One graciously opens the Divine Community up to include us.

I think all three of us humans who have been gathering will readily admit that there are more than a few moments during our prayer when we become distracted. Thanks be to God that God does not ignore us during those moments. Slowly we bring our breathing and praying back into focus in God’s presence.

Summertime is tough to get together so we have gotten creative in using technology. We have connected in two places a few times. This week we connected from three separate locations. The miles don’t matter. It’s the community in God’s presence. And so today, I am grateful for how technology allows us to connect.

Matthew 18.20:

For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

A Creation Story

         This is a story of beginnings and new beginnings.

“In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters.” [Genesis 1:1-2]

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” [John 1:1]

As our Creator burst forth with the power of love, setting all creation into motion throughout over 13.7 billion years, that power of love has been at work in and through the person of Jesus even to this very day through our fellowship.

Part of the DNA of Christ Crossman UMC is to be a church on the edge. Crossman ME Church grew out of Fairfax Chapel, which began meeting around 1770. It was at Fairfax Chapel that Harry Hoosier, a black servant of Francis Asbury, was first witnessed preaching to blacks, mostly slaves.

         When the Civil War tore about the fabric of the United States, Fairfax Chapel was also torn apart. After the war, seventeen persons who had been opposed to slavery formed what became Crossman ME Church in 1872. As a “northern” church, it was definitely on the edges of a still predominantly southern society in Falls Church. Less politically, socially, and financially connected with the dominant society, the impetus of Crossman was to serve the community and the world.

In the 1940s, a group of persons from Cherrydale Church in Arlington began meeting as the Lee Mission. Serving the community and the world shaped the mission of what came to be called Christ Methodist Church. Both congregations grew with the post-World War II population boom.

In the mid-60s the population began to shift to the outer suburbs of the metro area. At first, the shift did not seem noticeable to those who were active in the congregations. They continued in their faithful gathering for worship and working in service to their communities. It was not until the shift and decline had been going on for over thirty years that either congregation began to realize that they had to make some serious decisions about how to be faithful and fruitful with shrinking numbers and resources.

At Christ Church, a few members realized that without a new paradigm their mission would soon become, as one member put it, “give us money to keep our doors open.” They knew that this was not true mission as the Body of Christ and began looking for a way to change that paradigm. They reached out to Crossman Church proposing a merger. In June of 1997, these two expressions of Methodismjoined forces.

For the first few years, all missions of both predecessor bodies were continued along with new avenues of mission. This began to prove unwieldy since the numbers of persons able and willing to serve had not greatly increased. Deaths and retirement moves took their tolls. It became obvious that continuing to function as we had for decades was not going to be the way to be a vibrant, fruitful fellowship for the 21^st century.

While building on the faithfulness of those who had gone before, we chose to take note of their essence, and not simply their style. Worship became more participatory and involved newer styles of music. With the dynamic leadership of our lay leaders, we became more willing to struggle with questions being asked by young adults in the society.

After receiving numerous proposals to redevelop our property to include some form of retail, Christ Crossman discerned that we needed to take the initiative ourselves. In 2012, the congregation established a goal to work towards building a residence for persons with intellectual disabilities either on our property or adjacent to it.

The fellowship of Christ Crossman sees our role as faithful stewards of God’s creation taking shape in our care of creation, in our partnership with differently-abled persons, and in welcoming, and accepting, all of God’s children to the Table. That Table is not just centered in our sanctuary. We take it out to edges of our world with us each week as the witnesses of the One who said, “See, I am making all things new…I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.” [Revelation 21:5, 6]

Having a choice can make a huge difference

Having a choice can make a huge difference in how I face things. As much as I have worked with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator over the years, one statement I read early on has really stuck with me because I found it to be true in my own life. I think it was from a series of little pamphlets that paired two specific types. This particular pamphlet was about Jeff’s and my types. The statement was in relation to how each type handled money. For my type it said that we prefer to have more control over our money not so that we can spend it but so that we can have the option to spend it. Having the option was far more important than actually spending it. That really rang true for me, as did what I remember what it said about Jeff’s type regarding money as being for the purpose of spending.

Much more recently I was talking with my coach about a particular issue that was troubling me. As we talked, it became really clear that the choice in the matter was entirely up to me. No matter how much pressure I might receive from certain quarters, the decision was mine to make. When I realized that, I felt much freer to make a decision that was different than the one I automatically tended to jump to simply in reaction to feeling pressured. Knowing that it is my choice makes my attitude totally different. I feel freer and more at ease.

Knowing this about myself gives me pause in how much space I allow others, especially my son. It doesn’t mean that I give over all decision-making by any means, but it does remind me that bit by bit, more and more needs to be turned over. How else will he learn even more about making decisions, and taking responsibility for his own decisions?

I wonder if this is why God gave us the gift of free will, so that we can learn to take more responsibility for our own lives, without holding others responsible for our decisions whether good or ill.

2 Corinthians 9.7:

Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Community

I have loved the fundraisers at Flippin’ Pizza and Famous Dave’s. Of course, they have good food, but what I like is seeing so many folks I know there. It’s a real sense of community. Actually that’s one of the things I like about being in Falls Church. Almost everywhere I go, I see someone I know.

When I eat at the 4Ps, I often see Travis who started there as a waiter that Jeff and I enjoyed chatting with. He’s now a manager, and he’s a cancer survivor. When I go to the library, I see Sheila, mother to other band students. Sometimes when I eat at Famous Dave’s, I see Victor who used to come to CCUMC with his folks. He’s graduated from college and is now in graduate journalism school. I’ve run into our pediatrician at Starbucks.

I’m reminded that our mission is not just for the people who come through our doors. It’s also for the people we meet in our everyday lives whether they ever come to church or not, and even whether they are Christian or not. They are God’s children.

After eating with me at Famous Dave’s tonight where I talked to folks and then saw others in the parking lot, my older son commented that he couldn’t do my job. I love it. I get to meet and be with the people God loves. God graces me through them, and hopefully I share God’s grace with them as well.

Hebrews 13.2:

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.

It's about Relationship

As part of one of my classes, I’ve been asking a few folks questions about their experience over the years at Christ Crossman. What comes through the clearest is how important the relationships have been and are. “Being a part of something” is the way one long-time member put it.  Knowing that we come to a place where we are loved and accepted is vital.

I think this is right on target. The God we worship is not a concept or even a disinterested being. Even though the word Trinity never actually appears in the Bible, it is clear that our God has been about relationship since before the beginning of creation. The best way I can describe a mystery that is truly beyond my full conception is through relationship.

Within the community of God that we name as Trinity, love flowed, and flows, with such power that God wanted there to be more to love, and so that love burst forth with such force that all creation was set into motion. We can get an inkling of that when couples want to have a child because their love is so great that they want a third, or even a fourth, to share that love.

Being in relationship is important on so many different levels. Andrew was telling me about how a really good basketball team works. It’s more than just skill, which is also important; it’s about touching—through hand and back slaps and high fives—that keeps each member of the team connected to the other members. This makes them more than they are on their own. It’s more than just the sum of the parts.

That’s what Christ Crossman is for me. It’s about the relationships that reveal God’s love and presence to me and to others. It’s that we are more together than we can ever be apart. It is about “being a part of something” that is more than just ourselves. It’s about loving and being loved, accepting and being accepted.

John 13:35

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Search for the Perfect Shoes

Jeff was on a search for the perfect shoes, the perfect pen, the perfect jacket and the perfect vest. He would buy what he thought was THE ONE, but then he would see another one, and another one. I would roll my eyes. I probably had something to say as well. Finally, he realized that something had to be done. Oh, he didn’t stop the search or the buying; he just made himself give one away when he bought a new one.

Once I had the whole closet to myself, I found I was buying more things than before. My search for the perfect shoes was not because I like shoes, but because I was looking for the ones that felt most like being barefoot. I have a number of failures in that department sitting in my closet. My chosen discipline for Lent this year was to put a halt to buying clothes and shoes, and I have kept to that fairly well since. Now I need to start sorting out and giving away.

We have a tendency in the life of the church to keep acquiring as well, especially ministries. Once we have taken on a project or a ministry, we seem to want to hang on to it forever even when there are other things we need to do. When Christ UMC and Crossman UMC merged to become Christ Crossman, each congregation brought a passion for mission and ministry, particularly what each had been doing already.

With the influx of funds from the interest on the capital proceeds from the sale of the Christ Church property and both parsonages, it was decided that a certain percentage would be used to fund new ministries. That was an admirable decision. Within a year after I arrived, it became apparent that while new ministries had been begun, nothing from before the merger was stopped. The active lay leadership was exhausted from trying to carry on what was new as well as what was continued. At the urging of the very people carrying out mission and ministry, we began a process of streamlining what we could do. It didn’t mean that what we had done was not worthy, or that the groups with whom we had worked did not deserve it, but the reality was (and is) that we did not have unlimited energy or time. Priorities had to be established. Not everyone was happy for sure.

This is an ongoing process. There has to be a continuing work of prioritizing where we are called to put our time and energy. We are a small enough congregation that we need to focus our attention. Again that doesn’t mean that projects are not worthy; it just may mean that now is not the time for us to be involved. The shoes that are littering my closet are not worthless, but they don’t work for me, and as long as they add to the clutter, I can’t see the floor clearly. What keeps us from seeing clearly?

Philippians 3:13-14

Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.

Forests and Trees

There are details, and then there are details. As a rule, I am not a strong detail person, however in certain areas of my life, I have them down pat. Jeff was not particularly good on details either. He was, and I am still, more comfortable with the big picture. That old saw, You can’t see the forest for the trees, definitely did not describe either of us most of the time. Turn it around and it would, You can’t see the trees for the forest. The forest is the big picture; the trees are the details.

There are details that I know about fabric and fibers that would bore Jeff to tears. If he walked into a fabric store with me, within a couple of minutes he would be sweating and anxious to get out of there. I learned to go by myself if I wanted to really take my time and enjoy the process. On the other hand, he would see a car coming down the road towards us and he could tell the make and model, and maybe even the year before I could see it clearly. I could say that it was a car, not a truck or a motorcycle, and it was blue. We each learned details about subjects for which we had passion.

Then there are the people who are all over details. Getting them to see the big picture sometimes is hard, but they can take care of the iotas without a problem. Thank goodness that we are not all the same. The world is a much more interesting place because we are different. Working with our gifts and strengths can give purpose to our lives. That doesn’t mean that I can ignore important details, but if I stay with them too long, I feel as though I am drowning. For someone else, trying to stay focused on the big picture may make them feel unrooted.

In the wisdom of God, there are enough varieties to seem almost infinite to me, and they all can be used to sing praise to our Creator.

1 Chronicles 16.33:

Then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord, for he comes to judge the earth.

Becky

What can I say? Our girl is all grown up and ready to take the world by storm. Of course, she was already a grown woman by the time she came to us, but we have watched her grow even more over the last five years. Who am I talking about? Well, come this Sunday to hear her preach her last sermon at Christ Crossman—at least for quite some time—and then you will know!

I love that Christ Crossman takes its job as a teaching/learning congregation so seriously. All the interns who work with us are truly blessed by the members of this congregation who treat them with such respect and love, and as pastors. And our congregation is blessed to be able be a part of our interns’ preparation for another ministry. I don’t’ say “for ministry” because they are involved in real, honest-to-goodness ministry while they are with us. They have given us so many gifts.

I confess that my heart is joyful and sad all at the same time. She came to us in the Fall of 2008, newlywed and beginning seminary, to work with the youth. She leaves us in June of 2013 to become pastor of Crestline United Methodist Church in Crestline, OH.

Becky, we love you, honor you, and wish you all the best! Our hearts go with you.

1 Timothy 4:14-15

Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you through prophecy with the laying on of hands by the council of elders. Put these things into practice, devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress.

Leadership in Mission & Vision

As you know, I have been reading books on leadership in preparation for my first two courses in the doctorate of ministry program. This week and next, eighteen of us plus our professors, Lovett Weems and Denise Dombkowski Hopkins, are reflecting on this. I want to share some of my notes with you because we are on this journey together. I may be the one doing the reading, writing and going to class but it is not a solo journey. It’s all about what God is calling us to be and do as Christ’s church in our community.

There is no leadership apart from change--the current state of things cannot ever be deemed as synonymous with God's will. It's not that there's so much wrong with us, but that we are never fully in and of God's kingdom.

Our God is God of the past. In our history there are times in the past we can look when we can say that God was present. We know that God is not limited to the past; God is present NOW. God has not left us. We also know that God is not limited to the present; God is also God of the future--God's work is not finished in me or in the world. We could each say: “I have been saved, I am being saved, I will be saved.” Change is called for not as judgment on the past or the present, but as trying to capture that next vision that God has for us.

Vision is a gift of God given to God's people. It is often first articulated or named by a leader or leaders, primarily because leaders tend to be thinking, reading and praying about these things more.

And I am finally getting a sense of the distinction between mission and vision.

Our mission is what we exist to do. Our vision is what, in light of our mission and our context, God is calling us to do in the near future. What is the next step to take to grow closer to what God is calling us to be and do?

Jeremiah 29.11:

For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.