Ask, Just Ask

My father had a saying—“if you don’t ask, you only have one answer.” I try to take that to heart. Sometimes, it is hard to ask, and I have succumbed to that difficulty, having to live with a “no” simply because I would not ask. It’s amazing how many times asking leads to another answer, another way.

In one way, this past Sunday at Annual Conference, it would seem that asking did not lead to another answer. On behalf of the Resolutions committee, I made a motion to suspend the rules so that the body could approach a difficult issue another way, rather than the often rancorous, divisive exchanges that can pass for debate on the floor. The motion did not pass, so it would seem that asking did not lead to another answer, but I am not so sure.

I believe that by raising the prospect of another way, even though it was not chosen, we helped remind people to approach the debate differently—at least some of them. Also, because of the possibility of this other way, there were preparations made that I believe also made a difference.

As a part of the possibility for holy conferencing in small groups, we had prepared crosses made of cardstock. These crosses had been held during the prayers of the people by my congregation, and during our staff meeting. They were imbued with the spirit of prayer for all God’s people. Then on Saturday night, volunteers placed them around the arena to be ready to be used on Sunday morning. As they placed the crosses, they prayed. We walked around the meeting space praying—not for a particular outcome, but for a listening spirit for the Spirit’s presence.

So, Daddy, I followed your rule. I believe it helped. Though my plan did not proceed as intended, God’s Spirit was present. I felt it. I hope others were aware of it as well. The answer was not in the results, but the attitude with which we looked towards the other.

Matthew 7:8

For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

You Gave Me Room

In reading for a short term study on the Psalms this month, a note in Fr. Roland Murphy’s book The Gift of the Psalms caught me—not just my eye, but my heart. In a section on salvation in the psalms, he noted that salvation is many things--redemption, safety, healing, relief, release, and more. Then he cited from Psalm 4: “You gave me room when I was in distress.”

Room—not a room, but room. It is more than giving someone space; it is space that is defined, but not by boundaries that are to keep one penned in. The sense I get is having a safe place that allows me freedom from being pressed in.

Immediately, my thoughts went towards being a parent. I know there were, and even still are on occasions, times when I dealt with a son’s distress by hovering close, and by asking too many questions. I realize that I was trying to alleviate my distress over their distress. I have found it is more important for me to let them know I am here, close by, but not hovering, giving them room.

I think about how much room God gives me in my distress, not jumping in to resolve difficulties, and yet not leaving me without any moorings. What a gift of grace this is!

Checkups

I cannot say that I really enjoy having blood work done, but I go every six months to see my oncologist and have my blood drawn. It is worth the bother and the discomfort to see where I am three-and-a-half years after cancer surgery. Today, my oncologist and I chatted about several aspects of life, including each of our sons who graduate from high school next week. While she is interested in the numbers generated by my blood work and she does a physical exam as well, she also wants to be aware of what else is going on in my life. Thus far, all my draws and exams have shown that I am doing well post surgery and treatment. And today, I got a purple wrap around my arm as a reward.

I cannot say that I really enjoy doing statistical reports and entering numerical data on everything that the church does, but, like my oncology checkups, they do give a picture of how we are doing on some aspects. The numbers can tell us some things, but it is in those closer conversations with each other that we can get a deeper sense of our vitality and well-being.

This Sunday—June 14, we are going to have one of those conversations that give us a chance to know where we are, where we are going, and how we hope to get there. I hope that you plan to be in worship, and then stay over for lunch and our conversation. While you won’t get a purple wrap for your arm, you will have the chance to share in fellowship with each other.

[There will be childcare, supervised activities, and food for the kids while the adults and youth are in the sanctuary.]

Psalm 63:5-7

My soul is satisfied as with a rich feast, and my mouth praises you with joyful lips when I think of you on my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.

Pick at the Nits, or Take Time for Gratitude

I recently spent time with a dear friend and fellow disciple who has to travel frequently and work with groups of people who have a tendency to gripe about their projects. While they need her ability to manage a significant aspect of details for them, she certainly does not need to endure their constant complaining. In fact, she told them so, saying if that is how they wanted to be, they could do the work themselves--without her. They went silent.

She asked why do we have to complain all the time? Why can't we be grateful and satisfied? One of the group called or emailed her the next day to thank her for her "sermon" which had been really needed. I was reminded of how Miss Jen talked last Sunday about the ten lepers who were all healed by Jesus, but only one came back to thank him.

Too often, I and so many of us get caught up in the details, picking at the nits along the way, so much so that we no longer see what it is we are working on, or involved in. Now, I am not talking about saying that shoddy work is acceptable. I mean that we seldom take time to enjoy the process, and the work together, and especially we are far too sparing with our gratitude.

Let's take time today to make note of a thing or two for which we can give thanks--to God, yes--but also to the persons with whom we live, work, and spend our lives.

Luke 17:15-16
Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice. He prostrated himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him. And he was a Samaritan.

Those Pesky a priori Assumptions

I had a discussion just the other day where someone said that folks should just read the Bible and then they will know what it says—or something to that effect. I would agree that reading the Bible is important, and so, too, is knowing what it says, but I also believe that we do not come to the Bible, or anything we read or hear, with a blank slate. We bring our culture, our use of language, our time in history, our geographical location, and all sorts of other preconditions along with us.

These are the a priori understandings that can help us get a foothold or handhold when we are facing something new, but they can also prevent us from hearing or seeing what message was intended for the original readers, or what depth it can bring to us now. They can sometimes make us deaf to injustice, or blind to seeing God’s Spirit moving through our lives or in a situation.

The assumptions I have brought with me might be based on experience I have had elsewhere, but if I insist on staying within the bounds of those assumptions then I risk missing having my world opened in amazing ways. I remember a woman who had not come to church for a long time because people were not friendly. Then she came back and asked to have her membership reinstated. After a few weeks, she was gone again. Why? No one welcomed her, she said. I had been watching, and I knew that was not true. She rebuffed every person who spoke with her—both those who had known her from before, and those she had never met. She brought with her an assumption that the church was not a welcoming place, and she would allow nothing to break apart her assumption.

I pray that the grace of God’s Spirit will always keep moving within me to help my spirit, my mind, and my heart stay agile and alert to what new things God might be working within me, and within the world.

Oh, Yes! Oh, No!

Thank goodness we are all different, unique individuals. I know this but it was reinforced recently. I have worked with the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) for thirty years. When I first was introduced to it, I was reluctant. I do not like being boxed in by anyone and it seemed to me that was exactly what it would do. I also, believe it or not, do not like to make undue waves, so when the clergy book study group decided to do it, I went along. The last question asked about wanting to argue with some of the other questions on the indicator. Of course, I selected “yes.”

When we as a group had a workshop with a qualified MBTI interpreter and received our results, it was such a release for me. I had always known that I was different than almost everybody else, at least everybody in my family and most folks I knew. What I discovered is that indeed I am a very different type than others in my family. In fact, out of every one hundred people, there are only three others like me. I found out that I was not crazy after all. While I am different than most people, I have a lot of similarities with a few others. That discovery was a freeing moment for me.

The recent reinforcement came in the form of an article on the internet. It summarized what might be hell[1] for each of the sixteen MBTI types. My hell would be, it said, to have every moment of my life from here on out scheduled for me by someone else, and it would be filled with arbitrary, solitary tasks. Just reading it made me shiver. Who on earth would want to spend all their time on arbitrary, solitary tasks! I read that out loud to someone. The solitary tasks actually sounded appealing to her. She is an introvert; I am an extravert. Introverts tend to find their energy depleted by spending much time with others, even when they like those others. Extraverts tend to find their energy depleted by being alone too much.[2]

I am reminded yet again not to judge or assume that everyone thinks or feels as I do. All I ask is that others also not judge or assume that I should obviously think or feel as they do. The differences in how we take in information, how we see the world, how we make decisions, and how important deadlines are to us—among many other qualities—are gifts. For those who are followers of Jesus, how we make use of them within the Body of Christ and for the world is what is most important. Vive la difference!

1 Corinthians 12:7

To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.

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[1] http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/05/the-definition-of-hell-for-each-myers-briggs-personality-type/

[2]  You will notice that I used the word “tend” in describing both introverts and extraverts. We all have both qualities of introversion and extraversion; one simply tends to be predominant over the other.   Over the years, I have even found persons who answered “no” to the last question (see above).