A Wedding, The Table, and Wounds

I love the United Methodist wedding service. Probably my favorite part is the Dismissal with Blessing, where I say: “Bear witness to the love of God in this world, so that those to whom love is a stranger will find in you generous friends.” It takes a marriage beyond a twosome to include the world. Another part I like is the Blessing of the Marriage. It encompasses all of their lives. Two portions of it are: “Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their lives and in their deaths. Finally, by your grace, bring them and all of us to that table where your saints feast for ever in your heavenly home.”

This past Saturday I was the celebrant for a beautifully simple wedding ceremony for two non-members. For them, their primary goal in the wedding was the beginning of a marriage, a life-long partnership. I had enjoyed working with them in the process. When I came to the above portions of the Blessing, I suddenly had to work hard to keep my voice under control. This was the first wedding I have done since Jeff died.  In many ways, I have made peace with this fact, but to come face-to-face with awareness of it in new situations is still hard.

Actually the hardest part of those words for me this time was not the finality of death, but the image of the table. I know that table is for all those who come home to live with God, but in Jeff’s conversion he began to have a very different view. He worried that I would not be there because I would not convert with him. I pray for healing of the wounds this caused between us. And right now, I hold to the affirmation, “In life, in death, in life beyond death, God is with us. We are not alone.”

Revelation 21:3-4

I heard a loud voice from the throne say, “Look! God’s dwelling is here with humankind. He will dwell with them, and they will be his peoples. God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more. There will be no mourning, crying, or pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” [CEB]