Curiosity Does Not Kill the Cat

Curiosity. That’s what my coach advocates. It makes so much sense that one would think we would all already know that and practice it.

Whether we have been in a relationship for a long time or it is brand new, whether it is for friendship, romance, work or shared activities, curiosity can be a big help. You know those moments when another person says or does something unexpected or that we do not understand, all we need to do is take a curious attitude—“Hmmm. I wonder what he or she thinks about this. I’ll ask.” It’s that last part that gets neglected so often maybe because we don’t want to offend, or seem ignorant, or have to deal with an answer that could be uncomfortable for us.

This goes hand in hand with my father’s adage: if you don’t ask, you have only one answer. If I don’t ask, then all I can do is make assumptions, and we all know what assuming does. Making assumptions are where we can truly offend, or seem ignorant. Learning the truth of what someone else thinks may indeed be uncomfortable, but it is far better to be working for a position of knowledge than of ignorance.

As I was growing up, I do not remember my parents talking over matters where they might have a difference of opinion, or belief. Maybe I did not pay attention enough but I really think there was an unspoken assumption that we were not to go there around issues of conflict.

“If we can stay in a curious mode, learning as much as we can about managing ourselves while listening to the ideas that are in the head of the other, it becomes a whole new interesting world every day.” There would be a great deal less conflict if we took this stance. Thank you, coach, for teaching me.

Matthew 5:33, 37

“And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions… When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.”  The Message