Swirling Thoughts

As I sit to write, my mind doesn’t focus on any one thing. So many things are swirling around.

--On Tuesday, I had to work very hard not to let someone’s rudeness affect my attitude towards him, and then towards others. I was tempted to be rude in return, but managed to pray silently for God’s mercy for him.

--For my birthday, I decided not to wait to see if my sons would remember and do something. I invited them out for dinner. If I want to be together, then I need to take the initiative.

--And then today, I am overwhelmed by how fragile life is. A thirteen year-old boy just getting involved in a church youth group was killed along with his sixteen year-old brother and his mother. What would lead a father to take the lives of his family and then his own? What was the pain that took away hope and led to violence and destruction?

At the seminary today, for our devotion a student read the Beatitudes in Matthew from two different versions. In the TNIV, verse 4 reads “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” In The Message, it reads “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.”

I think about the father at the end of his rope for whatever reason and wish he could have known the embrace of the One who is there when all else feels lost. I pray that the relatives and friends of this family can know God’s embrace in the midst of the shattering pain and grief. I pray for the young youth leader who spoke with the younger son just hours before his unexpected death. I pray for the pastors and congregation who must offer God’s embrace in the midst of their own pain and grief.

In the midst of swirling thoughts this day, the still point for me is God’s mercy, God’s embrace. As we grieve those we have lost, embrace us, Lord.

Matthew 5:4, 7

“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.”

“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.