As I am nearing retirement from the itinerant ministry,
three biblical characters have come knocking at the door reminding me that others
have walked the paths I traverse before me.
Abraham
For an assignment in seminary, in free verse form, I
reflected on the call of Abraham to leave the land he knew to go to a place he
had never been. Growing up I had decided that I was going to be an
engineer—like my father. I was good at math and at putting things together, and
I adored my father.
This career path took a turn when I realized that I was
called to “work with people not things,” as I expressed it. Since I had never
met a woman pastor, I assumed my call was to psychology and counseling. An even
sharper veer happened when I woke up one morning knowing I was supposed to go
to seminary to be a preacher! This was a fairly terrifying realization for
someone who trembled like an aspen leaf when I had to give book reports in
school.
I found comfort in reflecting on Abraham who with Sarah
trekked from the land of their families to a place they had never seen. If they
could do something so hard, so could I.
Esther
Another transition point on the journey came as I went on
family leave necessitated by how untenable life had become with Jeff and I
going opposite directions every Sunday morning and for special evening services
while I had full care for the boys at my church, especially in dealing with one
with oppositional defiant issues. [I
guess untenable situations bring on run-on sentences!]
After six months, I was asked to become the interim campus
minister for the local state college. Little did I know that I would become
somewhat entangled and even vilified as homophobic because of tensions between
various members of the cooperating denominations on the board. Seeking to be
truly inclusive for all took on a strange twist as I was told that
conservatives could go elsewhere. Esther became a touchpoint for me as Mordecai
challenged her with the awareness that perhaps she was born for such a time as
this. I came to understand, as one who does not relish conflict, that I too
came for just such a time. This has continued to undergird my sense of
ministry.
Moses
While I have been at Christ Crossman for sixteen rather than
forty years, I have recently found comfort as well as challenge in how Moses was
not allowed to cross into the Promised Land with his people. Over the last few
months, prospects I have worked towards for the ministry here have opened up
just as I am making my transition to leaving. More than I once, even as I
celebrated these new possibilities, I have felt a pang of regret that they
could not have come earlier when I could have been here to see the fruits of
our work together. A wise lay leader here offered me the image of Moses. While
I do not plan to be dying as my beloved C2UMC crosses the Jordan, I do have the
strong sense that I have come as far as I can and they must go on without me in
leadership. I entrust them to God’s care. There are good Joshua figures here
who will work with the next pastoral leader, Yunho Eo. Together they will move
forward, and I will celebrate from afar.
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