The Word of the Week: Balance

Balance seems to be the word/concept of the week:

·      Praying: Every Wednesday morning as we engage in a prayer of embodiment bathed in scripture, we are reminded that we intentionally seek balance--whatever we do with one side of our body, we do with the other.

·      Talking: Being parents is an act of balance—providing enough motivation and encouragement, while also stepping back to let our kids do it themselves.

·      Reading: Riding a bike requires balance—which necessitates moving forward at the same time that we stay upright.

·      Reading: Chaos and order are in relationship together. “Chaos is necessary to new creative ordering.”[1]

Sometimes trying to find balance is like walking on a razor’s edge; it must be done with great care. Living in a moment that is balanced can be bliss; trying to find it in the midst of imbalance can be agony. It is easier for me to remind someone else that finding balance is a process. When we falter, it is not the end; it is simply time to take a breath and step out again, one step at a time. Saying it to myself is harder. So I am learning to take a deep intentional breath in, and breathe out slowly to re-center myself—allowing my ears to hear and my eyes to see where Grace is flowing in this moment. And I give thanks for those in my life who have been a part of God’s grace this week.

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[1] Wheatly, Margaret, Leadership and the New Science, Third Edition, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., San Francisco, 2006.

Lifted by Grace

As many of you know I have been working on a doctorate of ministry in church leadership excellence for a while. While I initially applied to the program thinking that this would be something good to lead into retirement in a few years, God as usual helped me walk backwards into the place where I am supposed to be now. All of this work--this reading, this thinking, this writing—is for now at Christ Crossman.

In many ways, it has confirmed that we have been heading in the right direction with the work we have been doing over the last several years. And in other ways, it challenges me almost to the nth degree. It forces me to take as unwavering a look as possible into how I function as a leader, how our system at C²UMC functions well, and how it misses the mark.

I was getting fed up earlier this week. It seemed as though every page read and turned brought yet more awareness of how I need to change, and how I need to lead some of that change in our system. I confess that I was having a pity party inside my head and heart, and my spirit felt weighed down.

Then I had two conversations on Wednesday. One was with a staff member with whom I could verbalize some of my realizations, and together we could reflect on what it could mean for us in ministry. Being able to share lifted the weight a bit. The second conversation was with a lay leader who was truly excited about some new initiatives. God’s grace was flowing with blessing, and my heart was lifted more.

Matthew 11:29

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Stepping Up

“Stepping up our functioning means more than just thinking about it; it means actually doing it with other people.” I heard a couple of variations on this statement this week as the Advanced Extraordinary Leadership Seminar in Bowen Family Systems Theory met.

Now, the thinking about it is important, too. Thoughtful reflection is vital in the process as it helps me to parse out where my actions are considered or merely automatic gut reactions. For the long haul though, I need to do more than just reflect; I need to act.

This is so true, as well, in my life as a follower of Jesus. It is good to think about what it means to be a disciple of the One who is God-with-skin-on, Love incarnate, the Word. What difference does it make to be a follower of the Jesus who ate with outcasts and the socially acceptable as well? I need to think this through and consider what it difference it will make in my life. If I stop there however, I am playing it safe. To be a follower of Jesus, I have to actually act on it. Otherwise, my thoughts mean nothing, zilch, nada.

Stepping up in my functioning means I have to actually do it with real people. Stepping up as a disciple means I have to actually act as a disciple in real time, with real people.

James 2:15-16

If a brother or sister is naked and lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and eat your fill,” and yet you do not supply their bodily needs, what is the good of that?

Grace with a Side of Scrambled Eggs

I'm sure you have heard the phrase, "You are what you eat." It can also be said, "You are what you read, or what you watch." Whatever we spend our time doing is likely to make a big difference in our attitude. Wherever we give our attention will determine a lot of what we see.

When I took classes in photography in my twenties, I began to see scenes as though framed. I looked, and still do to some extent, for something or someone to be in the foreground to give perspective to the real subject of the picture.

Lately, we have been asking a question in staff meeting, and in other group settings around church, "Where have you seen God or God's grace recently." The more I ask, or get asked the question, I am becoming more attuned, or attentive, to see where God's grace is at work. Far too often, I have tended to go through my day with blinders on. I do not think it is intentional in the sense that I do not want to see, but I certainly find myself seeing much less. When I open out my focus, when I put out my antennae, I begin to pay closer attention. Thus I see more of God's grace at work. 

In a simple conversation about a frustrating passport issue, a possible solution was glimpsed and acted upon, and now a young girl can go back home. You might be tempted to say, "Oh, that was just coincidence." Maybe, but I think God can use even coincidence to make grace happen. A house cleaner was there to see a fall, and called the ambulance. A breakfast conversation offers clarity and grace along with the scrambled eggs.

The more I look for grace, the more grace I see. The more I look for God's "fingerprints," the more there are. Where have you see God, or God's grace at work recently?

Mathew 13:16

But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.

She Encroached on My Space

I already had some expectations of what I would find when I first walked in to The Church of the Resurrection building on that Wednesday for the pre-sessions of the Leadership Institute. I knew that there would be large numbers of "hosts" to welcome us, and help us find our way around. I found that I had to overcome some of my tendencies towards stubbornness, which largely come when I am feeling uncomfortable, to allow the hospitality to sink in to my spirit. 

At the very first session, I came in with little extra time to settle in since our drive to Leawood from NW Kansas city was delayed by rain and traffic. I found a place to sit where I could be with others, but allow some space around me. I chatted with other attenders around me, getting out my iPad and keyboard to take notes, beginning to feel a bit more at ease when a woman came in, talking to a few others she evidently knew. She did not sit with any of them but settled herself in the seat right next to me. Throughout the morning session, she made comments to me and spoke to me of her experiences. I worked hard to overcome my annoyance at her "audacity" to encroach upon "my" space. I responded, when appropriate, to her comments. Mostly I made myself be aware of my feelings and how they could affect my relationships in ministry. It was particularly apropos to the topic of the session: "Jesus Apprentice: Learning to Do What Jesus Did."

In that workshop, Jeff Kirby spoke of a disciple as "somebody who has a growing confidence of a growing relationship with God, to share that relationship with others—with people who are resisting evil." Through the morning, I discovered the woman next to me was a recovering alcoholic, someone who was working hard to face her own powerlessness to overcome an addiction, and had found a journey towards healing and wholeness in her relationship with God and God's people. I had to ask myself: How often do we, or more to the point, I focus on our own feelings rather than be aware that everyone brings something of darkness, or at least need, in their life? What do we do in worship at Christ Crossman that acknowledges the pain and darkness that people are dealing with, while allowing the light of Jesus to offer healing through us?

1 John 1:3-4

We declare to you what we have seen and heard so that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. We are writing these things so that our joy may be complete.

Refreshing Water

Last week, I wrote of my plan to take a Sabbath rest. I want to tell you a bit about it. I drove to the Blue Ridge of Virginia, just down the road from Graves Mountain Lodge in Syria, Virginia. The Martins graciously hosted me, allowing me time and space. I walked every day, though not in the woods because I really did not want to be mistaken for a deer by a bow and arrow hunter. I slept in. I read and I wrote. I rode through the fields late one night with Christopher. I ate jam homemade by Betty. Earle told me that the farm’s well water was tested, and it was purer than bottled water. I believe him. It tasted good and refreshing.

As I read and wrote, I thought and prayed about Christ Crossman a lot. I knew you were all in good hands, so I could relax about the details for a bit. It was the bigger picture, the vision that I prayed about. When Jen and I were at the Leadership Institute in Kansas, a theme seemed to emerge from the workshops I attended. We are called as a congregation, and as individuals, to be a bridge over which someone might walk to meet Jesus, to find light and healing in their journey. Jen spoke of being like a well where people might come to sit on the wall with Jesus and discover living water. That includes us also. We need to take time to sip at that well, refreshing and deepening our spirits within us.

I like that image. I drank deeply of the water at the farm, and I found a time of rest and renewal. I want to keep drinking deeply of the living water so that my spirit will be so full of Jesus’ Spirit that others will find a healing rest in my presence.

John 4:13-14

Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.”