Appreciation for my Mamma

When my father died twenty years ago this August, there were things my mother did that I didn’t really understand or appreciate at the time. He died Tuesday evening when I was returning to our home after being with him. I arrived home to hear the news. We packed and returned to Richmond that night. On Wednesday, Mamma directed Jeff and some others to take up all the plywood that had been laid on the floor to make Daddy’s wheelchair move around more easily. The hospital bed was removed immediately and their twin beds put back up. She said that it was because people would be coming over. It felt to me as though she were cleaning out reminders of my father’s illness and his last days. She also stopped wearing her wedding ring.

Over this past year, I have come to understand this some and appreciate my mother more. I too began moving furniture around and making changes in the house. I also stopped wearing my wedding ring. Only one person has ever asked me about it. My reply was that I had kept my wedding vows until we were parted by death. It wasn’t until quite some time had passed that I realized I had done similar things as my mother.

We all grieve in our own ways. Some people keep everything the same, and others do as my mother and I did. The legend of the phoenix is that the baby bird rises from the ashes of the old bird. Over this year, and I’m sure for a while yet to come, I have needed to stir the ashes of our life together in order to get a sense of the new life that will arise. I have glimpses of that new life. What it will be I do not yet know in full but I have hope as I wait for it.

Revelation 21:3-5a

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them as their God; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; ⁴he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.” ⁵And the one who was seated on the throne said, “See, I am making all things new.”