Listen

I confess that it is so easy for me to get worked up. Over the years I have found that my tongue can move far more quickly to speech than it should. Do you know what I mean? Do you ever find yourself saying something that you regretted almost as soon as it was out of your mouth -- words that hurt; words that bind; words that do not build another up or offer encouragement?

Great advice over the years has been that slow count – 1, 2, 3, 4 …9, 10. It is helpful but sometimes it’s not enough. Quick words without enough thought can lead to more quick words, which can lead to increasing irritation and anger.

James’ advice is to be quick, yes, but quick to listen. Taking time to listen can teach us a great deal. Listening--without getting our next speech ready. Listening—to hear what lies behind or underneath the words. Listening—to the depths of another’s heart. Listening—to how God’s Spirit is moving in and through us to be a witness of grace.

Be quick to listen, and then slow to speak. When I am impassioned, or angered, my words can come out like barbs. When I take time to listen, and then ponder what I hear before my words take shape, there is more space to allow God to dwell in the silence and in the words.

Oh, to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slower yet to anger. It is seldom that anger is truly righteous anger. When I feel the anger begin to rise, or rush to burst forth, the best thing I can do is to say out loud, “I need to go think,” “I need to cool down,” “I’ll be back and then we can talk.” Physiologically, when anxiety and anger begin to take over, our higher functions of reasoning begin to be overpowered by our more primitive instincts. Taking time to cool down allows the adrenaline levels to lower, which helps us think more clearly, and which allows us to hear God’s Spirit at work within us.