I feel as though I am drowning in details. During Jeff’s illness, I worked on lots of them so that when the end came, family and friends would be able to gather in a true celebration of his life. Now that folks are back to their lives, the details continue to pour in. At some moments, I have energy to face them. At others, I would rather go hide. I start a project, get some of it done, then have to move on to something else either because it was overwhelming me, or because C can’t happen until B and A are done.
Thank God that I am supported by terrific folks who are truly there for us. Jen sits across the table from me, taking on extra details that I normally handle. Mirta gently and graciously shields me from too many calls. Valerie helps pack up clothes. Bill, far away, but closer than a heartbeat almost, is there when I need him. And I am more than grateful.
There are some things that no one else can handle for us. There are the anxieties that go with loss, and the worries about being a single parent. When the 4 a.m. wakeup happens and I can’t go back to sleep (not everyday fortunately), sometimes the tide of anxiety rises. That is when the words below from Isaiah resound more deeply in my soul. We are not alone. We are surrounded by many, and by the One who is always there.
Isaiah 43:1-2
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.
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