This Month

I am not sure quite how I feel about this month. It is a busy time with the end of school this week, and then Annual Conference next week, and Jazz camp coming up after that. At work, we are all trying to figure out how we are going to manage the transition from Mirta to an as yet unknown person, as we also try to plan for the upheaval that everyone’s vacation plans throw into the mix. In some ways, all the focus and busy-ness is good because it doesn’t give me a lot of time for anything else.

Then at the end of the day, or at unexpected moments, I am intensely aware of our loss. A song evokes tears. Ads for Fathers’ Day gifts keep poking into my awareness, prodding tender spots.

I know that staying intensely busy can be a way of avoiding the abyss of grief. I have tried this year to find some balance in the midst of it all, sometimes coming to the edge of it but not falling in. I may look back years from now and see how I could have done it better but walking through the midst of this journey has had to be one step at a time, for better or worse.

Knowing that I don’t really walk this path alone sustains me. In words, gestures, looks, and actions, I (we) have been upheld by loving community. And for that I give thanks.

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”