In the Midst of Stress

We human beings share a lot in common with other of God’s creatures. When we are faced with a danger, or a great deal of anxiety, we have a tendency towards fighting or fleeing, or caretaking. In other words, we may get aggressive and combative; we may flee the danger or stress; or we may tend to over-function or under-function. Any of these responses may be the most appropriate response to a particular situation. The problem is that we tend more towards one response, or actually reaction, than any other, and we use it even when it is not especially appropriate.

The adrenaline gets flowing through our system and we just can’t think—at least for the first thirty seconds or so. That might sound like a really short time, but a lot can happen in those thirty seconds. That’s what interviewers count on—asking one of those questions that catch the subject off guard—hoping they can surprise a non-thinking reaction that makes for a great sound bite. There are those of us that tend towards to jut out our jaw and put up our dukes anytime we are faced with anxiety. There are those of us who tend to turn tail and run for the hills. And there are those of us who tend to freeze like a deer in the headlights.

I was thinking about this today as we on the staff and leadership of Christ Crossman are facing so much transition. Moving to new positions, moving to new houses, moving to new countries—all of these, even as they are positive changes, are sources of great stress. As I have witnessed our leaders and staff members face these transitions, I have seen grace and understanding from them and for them.

While we always need to treat each other with grace and care, this is a time when that is especially needed. We may never realize that the person whom we face is struggling to maintain some kind of balance in the midst of anxiety. My prayer for each of us is that God’s mercy will pour into every crevice of our beings so that we may be grace-filled, and grace-full toward others.

Transitions

At our staff meeting this week, I realized that all of us are in transitions of sorts. Becky & Joe are working on their house. The sink and tub are in their bedroom while the bathroom gets re-done. Kate is moving into a new apartment. Jen is getting ready to move. My basement has got to get back together after being torn apart this year.

Not only do we have these physical kinds of transition, we also have other adjustments to make. Kate is settling into the office. Becky is coming up on her last days as DYYAM*, and getting ready to do a chaplaincy internship. Ashley will be moving over as our new DYYAM. Cyd will be coming in to work with Laurine in the Nursery. And Jeremy will be our new intern in about six weeks. As always, Jen and I are aware of how different every year is from the ones that went before, and we need to find a new balance. All of this calls for us to be gentle with each other.

A colleague is at a new congregation and is really excited about being there, but is finding that his energy is sapped quickly. Any time we have to negotiate new relationships, it takes a lot of energy. Not only do we have to learn new pathways, but the old relationships that were almost second nature to us have to give way to new ones. We don’t know how to read the signs and postures of people we don’t yet know well.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but with all this yet to be negotiated territory, I often find it difficult to find my own balance. I know that the future God is calling me towards is full of hope, and yet sometimes it is hard to step towards it.

* Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministries

2 Corinthians 5:17

So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!

Set Free

Several years ago, on a spiritual renewal weekend, there was a service that emphasized giving up, or dying, to those things that would hold us captive in our lives, particularly from following Jesus. To emphasize the things that bind us, each person's hands were wrapped fairly tightly in a chain. No one else held any part of another person's chain. We were asked to reflect upon those things that held us tightly bound, and then as we felt we could name them, we were asked to notice that, though the chain was tight around our wrists, the reality was we were the ones holding on to the chain that bound us. In an act to signify our freedom in Christ, real or hoped for, we were asked to remove the chain and nail it to a cross. While this was a powerful moment for many, it was also a painful moment for some as they realized the tightness of their bonds.

How often have I railed against something I felt was holding me in bondage--usually caused by another person's actions, attitudes or words. This has happened in almost every aspect of my life--marriage, parenting, pastoring and more. What I have come to realize is that just as the ends of those chains in that service were held only by me so too am I the only one truly holding myself in any kind of bondage. How difficult this has been for me to know and yet how freeing it is when I come to know it. In my relationships, either as wife, mother, pastor, friend, colleague, mentoree, mentor, subordinate, or supervisor, there is truly nothing that can hold me in chains unless I allow it. It is freeing to claim the fullness of a relationship and my part in it rather than be angry about how someone has kept me from something I wanted.

I can't go back and re-do my life, yet in perspective I can begin to judge parts of it differently, claiming my responsibility. This helps me to see the picture more clearly, and in the process, I find that I can love more deeply.

Romans 6:16-18

Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that you, having once been slaves of sin, have become obedient from the heart to the form of teaching to which you were entrusted, and that you, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.

Higher Power

WOW! What a week we have had so far: the heat, the storm, the damage, the lack of power for so many! I went to bed last Friday night listening to the wind roaring through the trees. I awoke on Saturday to find so many branches of our trees on the ground, though not on the house. Thank goodness I had all the trees cleaned of dead and dying branches back in October.

On Sunday, we had a wonderful outdoor worship service since we had no power and thus no AC in the building. Several folks commented that it was like an old-time Methodist camp meeting. A photographer for the Washington Times, out taking pictures of the damage in the area, saw us gathering and took pictures. One was printed in the paper with the heading “Higher Power.”

We have come to rely on so many things that require power, not just for cooking and heating and cooling, but for our very entertainment. How easily bored we become when we can’t watch TV, play games on our devices, and surf the net. All those things can become distractions that keep us from connecting with the ultimate source of power.

As I watched the Falls Church fireworks display, I could feel the power of the explosions in my body. Oh, that I would be so aware of the power of God’s Spirit within me. It is this power that seeks to sustain me in the midst of difficulty and loss, as well as in times of ease and joy.

Jeremiah 51:16

When he utters his voice there is a tumult of waters in the heavens, and he makes the mist rise from the ends of the earth. He makes lightnings for the rain, and he brings out the wind from his storehouses.