When My Boat Rides Low

A mentor of mine had a really helpful image to me: I sit in a small boat in water that has mines under the surface. When my boat floats gently on the surface, it doesn’t bump into the mines and all is smooth, but sometimes for whatever reason my boat rides low in the water and tends to bump into the mines which rock my boat and increase the chance of bumping into more mines.

There are days I wake up and don’t know why I feel out of sorts, or maybe I at least vaguely know, but my ability to deal with stress and anxiety is reduced. I tend to be more snappish and pass on my anxiety to others, which increases the volatility in the relationship. Do you know that feeling?

So what do I do? What is my responsibility? I could say to others, “This is how I feel. I should be able to express my feelings. Just deal with it.” Or I could say to myself, “Oo, this is how I am feeling. I need to rein in my words and actions especially today so that I don’t add to the stress and anxiety going around.” And of course, that can be harder to do when my boat is riding low in the water.

Our society has encouraged us to “express ourselves,” not to hold back on giving voice to our emotions, but I don’t see that it has made us any better adjusted. I see anger, frustration and resentment increasing rather than the opposite. It is important to be aware of how we feel, but I don’t believe it is necessary to express all of those feelings aloud, or even silently with actions. I believe it is more important to decide what my guiding principle will be, and stick with it, even when it is difficult. I would say that a good guiding principle is what Jesus said is the second greatest commandment—the first being to love the Lord our God with all our heart, our soul, and our mind—is to love our neighbor as ourself. He didn’t say that this is easy; and it has little to do with feelings or emotions. It is a choice to make so that when my boat rides low and gets rocked by the mines, I have something else to lean on that is more steady and trustworthy than just my feelings and emotions.

What do you think?