Having a choice can make a huge difference

Having a choice can make a huge difference in how I face things. As much as I have worked with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator over the years, one statement I read early on has really stuck with me because I found it to be true in my own life. I think it was from a series of little pamphlets that paired two specific types. This particular pamphlet was about Jeff’s and my types. The statement was in relation to how each type handled money. For my type it said that we prefer to have more control over our money not so that we can spend it but so that we can have the option to spend it. Having the option was far more important than actually spending it. That really rang true for me, as did what I remember what it said about Jeff’s type regarding money as being for the purpose of spending.

Much more recently I was talking with my coach about a particular issue that was troubling me. As we talked, it became really clear that the choice in the matter was entirely up to me. No matter how much pressure I might receive from certain quarters, the decision was mine to make. When I realized that, I felt much freer to make a decision that was different than the one I automatically tended to jump to simply in reaction to feeling pressured. Knowing that it is my choice makes my attitude totally different. I feel freer and more at ease.

Knowing this about myself gives me pause in how much space I allow others, especially my son. It doesn’t mean that I give over all decision-making by any means, but it does remind me that bit by bit, more and more needs to be turned over. How else will he learn even more about making decisions, and taking responsibility for his own decisions?

I wonder if this is why God gave us the gift of free will, so that we can learn to take more responsibility for our own lives, without holding others responsible for our decisions whether good or ill.

2 Corinthians 9.7:

Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Community

I have loved the fundraisers at Flippin’ Pizza and Famous Dave’s. Of course, they have good food, but what I like is seeing so many folks I know there. It’s a real sense of community. Actually that’s one of the things I like about being in Falls Church. Almost everywhere I go, I see someone I know.

When I eat at the 4Ps, I often see Travis who started there as a waiter that Jeff and I enjoyed chatting with. He’s now a manager, and he’s a cancer survivor. When I go to the library, I see Sheila, mother to other band students. Sometimes when I eat at Famous Dave’s, I see Victor who used to come to CCUMC with his folks. He’s graduated from college and is now in graduate journalism school. I’ve run into our pediatrician at Starbucks.

I’m reminded that our mission is not just for the people who come through our doors. It’s also for the people we meet in our everyday lives whether they ever come to church or not, and even whether they are Christian or not. They are God’s children.

After eating with me at Famous Dave’s tonight where I talked to folks and then saw others in the parking lot, my older son commented that he couldn’t do my job. I love it. I get to meet and be with the people God loves. God graces me through them, and hopefully I share God’s grace with them as well.

Hebrews 13.2:

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.

It's about Relationship

As part of one of my classes, I’ve been asking a few folks questions about their experience over the years at Christ Crossman. What comes through the clearest is how important the relationships have been and are. “Being a part of something” is the way one long-time member put it.  Knowing that we come to a place where we are loved and accepted is vital.

I think this is right on target. The God we worship is not a concept or even a disinterested being. Even though the word Trinity never actually appears in the Bible, it is clear that our God has been about relationship since before the beginning of creation. The best way I can describe a mystery that is truly beyond my full conception is through relationship.

Within the community of God that we name as Trinity, love flowed, and flows, with such power that God wanted there to be more to love, and so that love burst forth with such force that all creation was set into motion. We can get an inkling of that when couples want to have a child because their love is so great that they want a third, or even a fourth, to share that love.

Being in relationship is important on so many different levels. Andrew was telling me about how a really good basketball team works. It’s more than just skill, which is also important; it’s about touching—through hand and back slaps and high fives—that keeps each member of the team connected to the other members. This makes them more than they are on their own. It’s more than just the sum of the parts.

That’s what Christ Crossman is for me. It’s about the relationships that reveal God’s love and presence to me and to others. It’s that we are more together than we can ever be apart. It is about “being a part of something” that is more than just ourselves. It’s about loving and being loved, accepting and being accepted.

John 13:35

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Search for the Perfect Shoes

Jeff was on a search for the perfect shoes, the perfect pen, the perfect jacket and the perfect vest. He would buy what he thought was THE ONE, but then he would see another one, and another one. I would roll my eyes. I probably had something to say as well. Finally, he realized that something had to be done. Oh, he didn’t stop the search or the buying; he just made himself give one away when he bought a new one.

Once I had the whole closet to myself, I found I was buying more things than before. My search for the perfect shoes was not because I like shoes, but because I was looking for the ones that felt most like being barefoot. I have a number of failures in that department sitting in my closet. My chosen discipline for Lent this year was to put a halt to buying clothes and shoes, and I have kept to that fairly well since. Now I need to start sorting out and giving away.

We have a tendency in the life of the church to keep acquiring as well, especially ministries. Once we have taken on a project or a ministry, we seem to want to hang on to it forever even when there are other things we need to do. When Christ UMC and Crossman UMC merged to become Christ Crossman, each congregation brought a passion for mission and ministry, particularly what each had been doing already.

With the influx of funds from the interest on the capital proceeds from the sale of the Christ Church property and both parsonages, it was decided that a certain percentage would be used to fund new ministries. That was an admirable decision. Within a year after I arrived, it became apparent that while new ministries had been begun, nothing from before the merger was stopped. The active lay leadership was exhausted from trying to carry on what was new as well as what was continued. At the urging of the very people carrying out mission and ministry, we began a process of streamlining what we could do. It didn’t mean that what we had done was not worthy, or that the groups with whom we had worked did not deserve it, but the reality was (and is) that we did not have unlimited energy or time. Priorities had to be established. Not everyone was happy for sure.

This is an ongoing process. There has to be a continuing work of prioritizing where we are called to put our time and energy. We are a small enough congregation that we need to focus our attention. Again that doesn’t mean that projects are not worthy; it just may mean that now is not the time for us to be involved. The shoes that are littering my closet are not worthless, but they don’t work for me, and as long as they add to the clutter, I can’t see the floor clearly. What keeps us from seeing clearly?

Philippians 3:13-14

Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.