I briefly read part of an exchange between two colleagues on
Facebook. I only read briefly because, I confess, I still get very
uncomfortable with conflict. That is one reason why I host Holy Conferencing.*
I have to make myself come face-to-face with my discomfort.
Coming face-to-face is important. When we keep ourselves
apart from those who are different from us, it is all too easy for us to otherize people. I do not think that is
a real word, but it seems appropriate to me. When I otherize people, I do not have to realize that they have feelings,
hopes, dreams, loves, dislikes—just as I do. I can objectify them, and thus
make pronouncements on them especially where we differ. When I can begin really
to see them, I can enjoy our differences, allowing those differences to inform
me about myself, and in the process helping me to come closer to loving my
neighbor as myself.
I am only a small way along that journey. For every step I
take, I find it so easy to take one back. I pray for grace and mercy as I walk
it.
* Here’s a description of what we do in Holy Conferencing: The
purpose of these gatherings is not to come up with the definitive answer, or a
program that will be successfully presented at our churches. It is a process
that helps us gather face-to-face and heart-to-heart, in a non-judgmental way,
as we deal with, struggle with, wrestle with different issues. It is a process
in which we will hopefully learn to listen to others even when we do not agree.
There is no debate, no scoring of points, no experts. And unfortunately
there is no way to offer notes to others unable to attend. It is the
face-to-face process that is the goal.
Luke 10:27-29
He answered, “You shall love the
Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your
strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said
to him, “You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live.” But
wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
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