There are people who get caught up in “drama,” and there are people who seem to be calm no matter what the circumstance. When I was growing up in the far west end of Richmond, our across the street neighbor—Skeebo--was known for his calm demeanor. Once when the neighbors were gathered at their house for a cookout, and it began to rain, they attempted to grill the steaks in the utility room in the basement. Needless to say, the fire did not stay well contained. All Skeebo said was “Marion, it’s on fire,” just as though he was saying, “Marion, we’re out of ice,” and then he poured his drink on the fire.
Well, I’m not sure I could have stayed so calm in the face of fire in my utility room, and I can count more than plenty of times when I have lost my cool, but I am doing better. In my Extraordinary Leadership Seminar based on Bowen Family Systems, I have been learning about managing my own anxiety so that I don’t add fuel to the fire, as it were. An added benefit is that in addition to staying calmer myself, I can help calm the anxiety or agitation in the situation.
If I am going to stay calm, then I need to be centered and have some guiding principles. These keep my life focused more on responding rather than reacting. It can be really hard to stay calm in the face of someone’s panic or rant. There is a natural tendency to want to rant back or go along with the panicking, but in the long run that does not help, so I try to draw a deep breath and consider what will be most helpful. Sometimes asking a question helps; sometimes simply being there calms the water; and sometimes stepping outside and away is needed. All in all, I think our world could stand more reasoned response over gut reacting.
Luke 8:24
They went to him and woke him up, shouting, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he woke up and rebuked the wind and the raging waves; they ceased, and there was a calm.
No comments:
Post a Comment