Hold - Clutch

Part of my routine in the morning is to read the paper and then work most of the puzzles in it. In this morning’s Jumble, the clue of one of the words was “hold.” The letters were unjumbled to make “clutch.” Immediately, I thought about holding on tightly, often too tightly.

After I finished the puzzles I sat down at my spinning wheel to practice. For me it has been like rubbing my stomach, patting my head, and jumping on one foot, all while reciting the Gettysburg Address. In other words, there are several things going on all at once. After pre-drafting the fibers, which means pulling them lengthwise so they aren’t so thick, I start the wheel turning by working the treddle which twists the starter yarn to which I attach the drafted fibers. Now this is where I have been having trouble getting the rhythm going. While my right hand manages the twist keeping it from going further into the fibers than it should, my left hand drafts the fibers out more. The right hand is supposed to let the energy or twist build up just enough, and then let the yarn move on to the bobbin. If my right hand holds too tightly, the new yarn keeps twisting without moving on to the bobbin. If I hold too loosely, the fibers that have not yet been drafted get twisted up. Or I allow the yarn to move on to the bobbin before it has enough twist.

Today, as I plied together two single yarns I had spun, I reflected about holding and clutching. As a mother, if I hold on to my sons too tightly in a clutch then they don’t develop enough independence and initiative on their own. If I hold too loosely, then they might feel adrift in the world before they are ready to take it on. It’s a delicate balance.

There’s also a balance in holding and yet not clutching with our faith, and in our life. Jesus said that “unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain. But if it dies, it bears much fruit.” If we love our lives so much that we clutch on to them, then we never get the experience of trusting God enough to let go so that fruit can develop.

I am just beginning to catch the rhythm of holding the twist and moving it on to the bobbin. Nothing fancy yet, but I can see yarn growing under my eyes. In my life and faith, it is also a process of learning to catch the rhythm of holding on to Christ and trusting enough to let go. I think I will keep on practicing.