Out of My Control

Over the past three weeks while I have been away Nina, Jen and Jeremy each wrote a guest post responding to a question I asked: How does God call me out of my comfort zone in order bear fruit? It's only fair that I respond as well.

Every week for three years, I have written a brief email message to you, often using what was going on in my life for reflection. I wrote them during Jeff’s illness and after his death. I wrote them during my own treatment for breast cancer. I wrote them when I was on vacation. This year, shortly before leaving on our trip, I asked the three who would be preaching while I was away to write guest posts and email them to me so that I could post them. The first week away, Nina sent me her reflection and I posted it. The second week, Jen sent me a note saying that her post was written and scheduled for sending. And then she posted and scheduled Jeremy’s reflection for this past week. I have to admit I was taken back a bit. I realized that it was hard for me to let go of control.

I shared this in a somewhat humorous tone during staff meeting this week, but it is a real issue for me. I felt as though God were putting a hand up to get my attention to remind me that I am not in control, and that God was helping me on how I have been working on trying not to be a bottleneck to the Spirit’s work. It was as if God said, “See, I took you out of the loop here, and all was well. Get used to it.” This was a gentle reminder but I definitely felt uncomfortable, mostly with the realization that I didn’t like not being in control. God’s Spirit is not something I can control. It blows where it will. I just pray I can stay aware of it.

John 3:8

The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.