“Do you remember when?” someone asks, and then the stories
roll eliciting laughter, tears, smiles, memories and even questions. The
questions often come because of differing perspectives. One person remembers an
event one way, and another has a different memory of what happened. At times,
my mother would tell me that an event I remembered did not happen, or that my
memory was wrong. This is why eyewitnesses to a scene can recall details so
differently that we wonder if they saw the same thing happen.
Our memories, our stories are a part of what makes us who we
are. They can be told to explain how we got where we are, and why we can or
cannot do something. I have been reading a book*
that suggests we look at our stories in a new way, not changing the facts but
seeing new possibilities that point toward hope. As soon as I read this, I
immediately thought of an exchange with my first family systems coach. As I
talked about my mother’s obvious favoring of my brother, something that had
always felt like a lack in my life, she pointed out how lucky I was to have
been out of the intense focus of my mother so that could I grow up more freely
than my brother. Just that one change, not in the facts but in seeing what they
could mean, has made a huge difference for me.
When we tell our stories we remind ourselves and others of
the way we have come, and so we may tell them or remember them differently
because we are looking through a particular lens to understand. That does not
mean that any of the stories, or versions of stories are not true. They may
each speak to a different aspect of the truth. For a start, look at Genesis 1 vis a vis Genesis 2, and then at Psalm
8, Psalm 19 and Psalm 104. Each tells of God’s Creation through a particular lens.
Each helps us find new understanding that can lead to a greater fullness in our
life.
My story is not set in stone; it is alive with all
possibilities and purpose in the fullness of God who is Three-in-One, creating
me, redeeming me and sanctifying me at all times and in all ways.
Psalm 19:1-2
The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the
firmament proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares
knowledge.
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